Self Improvement Information

If you only think small thoughts, then you are likely to only achieve small things, but if you dream on a BIGGER scale, then you are much more likely to achieve those big dreams.

It is all about setting your direction and your attitude - the more positive you are, the bigger the effect on the direction you want to go. What you believe is what you get. Believing that you are going to be an astronaut/doctor/artist/slim is exactly the attitude that is needed to help make it happen. How many times have you heard of a successful person saying “for as long as I can remember - I always wanted to be …”? Those people started out in life with a conviction of who they were going to be - what a powerful way to get what they want out of life!

Perhaps those that didn’t have such a strong intent, and that have been ambling along from one thing to another might be feeling that they will never achieve anything. But, it is never too late to start - as soon as you believe it - you are moving towards it. However, with all those past experiences to go on, of “not having” or “not achieving much”, it’s going to take a very big leap of faith to start and truly believe now. For a start, you are going to have to ditch negative attitudes about what you think you are capable of, including what others have told you, and re-learn some new positive thoughts.

Incidentally, how many times have you also heard about people who only got their act together AFTER someone had told them that they were a loser, or wouldn’t amount to much? For them, proving someone else wrong was their biggest motivation to get going or maybe it was just the wake up call they needed to show themselves what they really could do, if they tried.

Now, once you’ve got started with this new belief - whether it’s I CAN BE SLIM, or I WILL BE A DOCTOR, or I WILL CREATE MY WILDERNESS RETREAT - you have to remain committed to your belief, in order to get to where you are going. Generally, people can often get themselves to the starting point on their own, but then slip back into doubt and uncertainty after the initial push. That’s where motivational support can help - such as in the form of slimming clubs who provide motivation by measurement, sharing with others in the same situation or using a coach to keep your progress on track.

If you’ve been down this road a few times already, you may be wondering where you’ve gone wrong. Well, let’s stop and think about what you are trying to do. If all of your life, you’ve been an “also ran”, gone with the flow and followed other people’s lead, it takes a big shift internally to suddenly change your ethos to leader, achiever, go-getter!

Now is the time to enact your belief in a manageable way.

That means that you need to put your belief into action in a way that you personally can handle.

For example - if you have a BIG idea that you are going to dig a whole paddock. You can pick up a spade and just start digging, but at some point, your muscles will get tired, your stomach will be empty and your body will need a rest. Your big idea is now starting to look unattainable today, and motivation might be wilting, especially if your neighbour has got half of their paddock dug already! This is the point that many give up with reasons such as “obviously I haven’t got what it takes”, “I can’t keep you with …”, or “I gave it my best shot”! Is this your pattern in life? You get so far and then get disheartened and stop or change to do something you think you CAN achieve? Perhaps you’ve gradually reduced your estimation of what you think is achievable?

Comparing yourself with others can be very disheartening - we are not all the same, we have different physical and mental abilities and therefore you usually do yourself a disservice with this comparison. If your goal was to dig the paddock, then it doesn’t matter if your neighbour can do it more quickly. You don’t need to add the extra challenge of digging it faster than anyone else (unless this is your true goal of course, but then you’re playing a different game!).

Another issue is impatience - “I want X and I want it now!” Staying power is what is needed in order to achieve your goal - life isn’t all instant gratification, sometimes it takes longer - ask an Olympic athlete how long they train every day.

However, you can bring your goal a lot closer by working out a realistic way that you can achieve it, with YOUR body and YOUR circumstances. Don’t let FEAR get an opportunity to creep back in here - it’s not a quick get out clause for your past negative belief system, just a realistic facing of facts. You can only dig for so long before needing a break, you will work better with a good spade, the weather may make a difference to how effectively you work. These are factors to consider and to work with or around.

So in our example, of digging a paddock, giving yourself some interim goals or marker points - such as “I’ll dig up to that point and take a break” or “I’ll dig one row every day” is a balanced way of progressing towards your goal. You also know that as long as you keep at it, then one day you will reach the other end.

This approach also gives you an opportunity to learn as you go. Each time you reach a way marker, you have just achieved what you set out to do - pat yourself on the back, admire your handiwork so far, see how quickly the dug portion is growing. Very soon you will have done more than you have left to do. You will probably also notice how your muscles are developing, as well as your confidence growing and that now you are setting your way markers further apart.

Consider your growth in self belief as a metaphorical equivalent of physical muscle development - the more you practice ACHIEVING, the more you achieve. The effect is cumulative. Remember though, that each time, you need to push just that bit further than you did the last time.

You need to have an aim that is slightly out of your reach in order to stretch yourself to reach it.

So I come back to the opening statement:

“Have BIG ideas and then LIVE up to them!” - who knows what talents you might discover when you start to think on a bigger scale.

Julie Hargreaves - life coach and author of many self development articles and guides available at hark.net.au hark.net.au