Self Improvement Information

Famous movie stars and other luminaries have made an interesting journey, when you think about it.

They’ve worked their you-know-what’s off to go from obscurity to universal recognizability, and then, once they have reached such visibility, they try to hide themselves away again behind dark sunglasses, tinted limousines, high gates, and live the most obscure lives possible.

Wanting to fall off the grid, to be untraceable, unrecognized is not only a desire of the rich and famous, but of others like so many Boulder, Colorado and Berkeley, California hippies that are keeping their VW micro-buses on life support in out of the way backyards and garages that no one will ever find on a map.

A few weeks ago, I was combing my local library’s shelves for books on the subject of “Freedom,” which by the way, is a search that I commend to you, when I found a provocative title:

HOW TO BE INVISIBLE.

Written by a European fellow who claims to be unreachable, it outlines how the average person, with a lot of sweat and effort I might add, can cover his tracks and seemingly, leave the world as you and I know it, behind.

Using dummy addresses that forward mail, along with cash payments for everything and tight lips, you can retain your privacy, according to this Sultan of Stealth.

Why would you want to do this?

Well, for one thing, if you’re paranoid about an abusive ex-lover or potential stalkers tracking you down, a low profile, or better yet, no profile can be a big plus.

I suppose the same tactics can be used to dodge pesky bill collectors and to cover your tracks if you’re a desperado, though this is not the author’s stated intent.

Anyway, the book was written prior to 9-11, before phone tapping became ubiquitous, and being invisible came to seem less patriotic and less possible.

After I read this tome, and I navigated it carefully from cover to cover, I was exhausted.

If invisibility takes so much exertion it may not be worth it.

And it makes you wonder whatever happened to hiding in plain sight?

Isn’t that an even better trick?

Dr. Gary S. Goodman is the best-selling author of 12 books, more than 600 articles, and creator of numerous audio and video training programs, including “The Law of Large Numbers: How To Make Success Inevitable,” published by Nightingale-Conant, a favorite among salespeople and entrepreneurs. To ask Gary to speak before your next sales, customer service, or business meeting, conference, or convention, please address your inquiry to: mailto:gary@customersatisfaction.com gary@customersatisfaction.com.

Our son has been on a long, arduous campaign for our family to adopt a dog. I have to admit we are weakening.

I have always loved dogs and I can well remember my own beloved childhood friends as well as that desperate desire for my very own canine companion. Plus he is an active child who loves the outdoors and he is an only child with no children his age living nearby so a dog could be a wonderful playmate and friend.

But I also feel in my heart it is simply too soon for me to open my heart to another dog. It has only been a year since I lost my beloved labrador Shamus and I still miss her terribly. Friends have told me to get another dog, but I find that rather hard-hearted. If my husband died people wouldn’t send me right out to pick a new one and if my son died people wouldn’t simply suggest I get pregnant again. Yes I will eventually adopt another dog to join our family, just as many people do remarry or have other children, but I am not done grieving for the loss of Shamus. You see she was a special dog and she was a very large part of my life.

Shamus joined our family during the first year of our marriage, more than a decade before our son made an appearance, and moved from New York to Kentucky with us.

She was the sweetest, most loving dog imaginable but then she was a lab and we know that is part of their nature. When she was younger my husband would take her hunting and she loved to hunt so much despite being lazy. However, I always swore that made her a better retriever because she didn’t want to waste a step! She was such an agreeable dog that my husband said she was the best dog he’d ever had; she was so eager-to-please (another lab trait) that she was a joy to train.

During the last years of her life she steadily grew weaker and struggled with many health issues but she was still so loving and uncomplaining. It was very difficult for us as we watched her decline and I dreaded being forced to make a decision, but in the end she made that decision on her own. Despite the many months of knowing her death was coming it was still so very hard to say good-bye. It was even more difficult to know that the world contains one less gentle heart and one less being that loves me.

But the lessons she taught me live on:

The 5 important life lessons I learned from my dog…

You can learn a lot from being a pet owner and the lessons begin from the first day your furry family member steps into your life and continue after you say your final farewell. In many ways, my dog was a far better person than I can ever hope to become.

1. Stay in touch with your loved ones

And I mean really in touch! Every pet owner knows what I mean. We humans don’t touch each other enough. Sure, we cuddle our babies, and fondle our new lovers, but in every relationship there comes a point when kisses are perfunctory farewells and hugs are doled out sparingly.

Dogs know that a simple touch from someone you love can make any situation better and sometimes make all the difference in the world. They appreciate the wonder and magic of a kiss (or lick) just because they love you and know that sometimes just sitting close enough to touch frequently keeps the cold, dark nights at bay.

2. Never overlook the chance for a nap

While most of us can’t work into our schedules the 20-hours of sleep time that dogs enjoy, we could all benefit from taking advantage of some down time to relax and rejuvenate. There are few of us who are getting enough rest and many are subsisting on far less sleep than is really adequate. This is no way to live let alone thrive. Your dog knows how to relax, just roll on your back and let your tongue loll out. You’d be surprised how wonderful it feels!

Dogs know that sleep should be high on your priority list-surely higher than laundry and cleaning although not higher than any food-related activity. Give yourself some down time and you’ll feel the better for it.

3. Jealousy is a waste of time

It would have been understandable if our dog took an instant dislike to our newborn. After all, for 11 years she had been the “baby” of the family. Even more than that, during the nine months of my pregnancy I’d been very sick and she’d been my constant companion on couch and bed. Now suddenly that was over and there was precious little time for grooming, walks, or cuddling. All our attention was focused on someone else. Jealous? Not our Shamus. She instantly bonded with the little screamer even though we didn’t let her get too close while we sussed the situation out.

She was better than any baby monitor available as she would come find us at the first sign of stirring and distress. She was the best nursemaid as she carefully investigated any visitors approaching the baby and always slept by his bed to guard against intruders and be vigilante for his every need. Then as the baby grew and became more mobile she was the epitome of patience with all his hair-gripping, lip-tugging, ear-pulling explorations.

She was his his guardian angel, playmate, and furry walker and she loved every minute of it.

4. The best toys are found not bought

Expensive squeaky toy? Shredded in minutes. Knobby ball? Lost in the bushes. Rubber bone? Shoved under couch. Frisbee found by the side of the road? Played with every day and stowed carefully on bed when not in use. A person’s hand? Endless play opportunities.

Dogs and young children teach us an important lesson about gifts. Your time and attention are the greatest gift of all and with a little imagination and energy you don’t need any toys at all, let alone expensive, electronic gadgets.

5. You are never too old to play

Arthritis and muscular atrophy sometimes make it a challenge for Shamus to get around, but she still loves to wrestle and will even romp for a little while. Although she can’t be as active and play fetch for hours as she once did, she still wants to be in the center of the action and participate as much as she can.

We humans forget that the need for play and fellowship does not disappear when we leave childhood. There is no such thing as being too old to play. Perhaps we need to revise our choice of game and venue, but no matter what our age, there should be no limit to our ability to join in the fun!

What lessons has your dog taught you? What role does your dog play in your home?

Deanna Mascle is an inspirational freelance writer. You can find more inspiration at inspirationbydawggone.com Inspiration by Dawggone and her inspirational ezines wordsofinspirationonline.com Words of Inspiration Online and dailyquoteonline.com Daily Quote Online.

Having your own business can be an exciting challenge– busy days filled with your ideas of how things should happen. But do you ever think back to a person who inspired you to go into business? And do you still reach out for that inspiration when things are going well– and when they are not?

Mentors are an important part of your success toolkit. They are the people who make you believe you really can do it, and who rein you in when you head off in the wrong direction (or too many directions). Some mentors are famous people, some lived centuries ago, some are people from your past and some are a part of your everyday life. You may read their words, have discussions by email or phone, or meet them for coffee every now and then.

Very successful business people always have mentors. The biggest part of this concept is that they weren’t afraid to ask for that mentorship. Don’t think the CEO of a company in your industry would take the time to mentor you? WRONG! But the first step is to ASK. A “no” is not a personal rejection, it just means you ask the next person on your list. And there is no hard and fast rule that says you can only have one mentor– perhaps you want one for your business life and another for your personal relationships.

A start-up company will seek the knowledge and experience of someone who has been through the start-up phase and have become successful in your eyes. Who do you know that started their company with themselves or a couple of partners and now has 25 people and millions in sales every year? Their business skills are incredibly valuable to you and they can help you see the road bumps ahead (and maybe avoid a few) and provide the encouragement you need to get past them. Even if their type of business is not the same as yours, there are things to learn, if you are willing to listen.

An established company will seek a person who has been through the growing pains of expansion from a “one person show” to a company with staff and other challenges that never happen to a single person operation. They can help you to that next level of business. This is an incredibly fragile time for most businesses and many don’t make it to growth but implode on themselves. Do you have a succession plan? Do you want to expand even larger or do you want to sell the business to go on to another challenge or retire? This takes experience and impartial thinking, all gifts of a mentor.

Go to that place in your mind and find that person who inspires you. Then reach out to them so you can celebrate your wins and move on from your losses. It will be the best thing to happen to your business– and you!

Catherine Christensen is a full-time business woman in Calgary, Canada. She operates a real estate staging business called Designs of the World. Recently she began assisting with the organization of events for business people to meet each other and successful role models such as CEOs who built major companies from very small beginnings. She is also involved in Canadian Women in Business which is an organization that provides a forum for like-minded business women to learn and connect.

Many people who are aware of the fact that work has to be done on time. In fact, if you can’t finish the tasks that require to be accomplished in a day, you presumably require a time management solution. It’s not unusual. Many people don’t have a satisfactory time management solution, but they should. Having a goal is quite critical.

Anyway, having a goal-oriented strategy that makes an effective use of your time will bring you success no matter how you look at it. There isn’t anything we can do about time itself. It keeps ticking the same as ordinary. We can change how we deal with events though.

It is hard to overestimate the importance of time management. Firstly, we cannot change the amount of time there is in a day. No matter how we juggle things around, there is still only twenty-four hours in a day.

This gives us a limited amount of time to work on during the year - in fact one might say that despite differing opportunities in life everyone has the exact amount of time, so the only thing we can do in our lives when it comes to time is altering the way we use it.

Once you realize this, you know that wasting time leads to a wasted job, project or even life itself. In this article, we look closely at the importance of time management in our lives.

Your important time starts now

Everybody knows that we have more than twenty different things that need to be done in a day. We don’t really know how we are going to fit all of this into our busy schedule.

The time management importance is this next statement: Those twenty things you need to do have to be prioritized. What does this mean? This means you need to put the things you want to do into a list and then decide which ones are more important, and which ones can wait.

The things that can be done later are still put on the list, but we know there are other areas to take care of first. We now have to decide how long we are giving ourselves to do each of those different tasks.

We need to be realistic. If it is an event that requires travel, the actual traveling needs to be put in the plan as well. If you know you have to stop for gas when on the road, you will need to add that into the plan as well.

This is to show you where all of the time is being used up. This can also help you with a time wasting strategy.

Put some priority into your daily activities

If you have followed your list and you still don’t have enough time in a day to do anything, look at your information to see where time is wasted. Wasted time is not good in any body’s life.

To be able to fit everything into your day you need to eliminate those time wasting activities. By doing, so you will be able to get more work done and still have time left to enjoy with yourself and your family.

The importance of time management can be gauge from the truth that by following its simple principles we can go from breathing day to day to living a full, successful live in which we work actively towards our life goals. No other skill or information set lets us achieve that.

Thanks a lot for taking your time to read this article. Go up before and look around to discover other helpful tips and information.

Even though, you may now know the importance of proper time management, but all words no actions is simply does not make your goals come true.

Take action now is the most right thing to do if you want you goals realized.
Without an effective and proper time management system, there will not be much goal-oriented lifestyle to hope for.

Understanding the fact that an effective program for time management habit may be easy to follow and implement and now allowing you to side-track is really allowing you to enjoy your life once again. So, please don’t wait any longer before giving another excuse to realize your goals again.

Eddy K Elgin is the author of the 17 Minutes Time Management Secrets. Drop by at 17mintimemanagementsecrets.com/time-management-blog/ importance of time management for more details.

In the course of a day how many choices do you think you make? So many times we think that the events of our lives are random. It appears as if they are happening to us, without our influence at all. When you learn to slow down and connect with your own spiritual core you will find at the heart of every choice – it is you who does the choosing.

You choose where to focus your attention. And your focus attracts energy. And from the energy that gathers you send out a signal that attracts it’s match back. Therefore all events, people and things in your life are a direct match for the choices you have made.

The kicker is that many of our choices are made unconsciously. We choose because we always have, because our mother did, because it is the “right” thing to do. Who says? Unexamined choices can get us into trouble.

Sometimes we do not think that we choose at all. During those times it is usually the child in us doing the choosing. And the child chooses from our default patterns, childhood experiences, and decisions made long ago in the environment of our family of origin - not always the best place to make empowered choices from.

Do you know the story about Cooking Ham?

There was a young woman who moved out into her own house. While living at home, she never cooked. Upon the move, she returned home to learn how to cook a few dishes. One of her favorite recipes was for cooked Ham. So she asks her mother to show her how to cook one.

The mother begins to share her expertise with the daughter. She tells her to salt and pepper the meat well. To make sure the vegetables are all cut the same size. Just before the mom places the ham in the pan, she picks up a knife and cuts about a 1?4 of an inch of roast from each end. Then she places the meat in the pan.

The daughter stops her mom. “Mom, I understand why we cut the vegetables the same size – that way they’ll cook uniformly. And I know the reason we salt and pepper the meat all over – and rather heavily, is so the whole roast will absorb the flavor of the seasonings. But why did you cut a little bit off each end of the ham before you placed it in the pan?”

“Because that’s what you do”, said the mom.
“But why?”, questioned the girl. “Does it help it cook better?”
“Well, I do it this way, because that’s the way my Mom taught me”, said the mother. “But I’m not really sure why we cut the ends off. Next time we go to visit we’ll ask her.”

Several months later the family gathers at Grandma’s house for dinner. As grandma prepares the meal the mother and daughter are in the kitchen with her. The daughter asks her grandmother, “Grandma, you’re such a good cook, and I know you passed all your methods on to Mom, but I can’t figure out why we cut the ends off of the ham before we cook it.” The grandmother turned to her granddaughter and said, “What are you talking about? I don’t cut the ends off before I cook it.” At this point the mother jumps into the conversation and says, “Yes you do! The time you showed me how to cook ham, you started to put it in the pan, and then you put the ham back on the cutting board and cut about a 1/4 inch off each end of the roast. I’ve been doing it that way ever since”, she declared!

The grandmother stared at her daughter in amazement. “Every time you cook a ham you cut a 1?4 inch off the ends? Every single time?” “Yes!” She answered her mother. “Every - single - time, just like you showed me.” “Honey, all I can say is you’ve been wasting a lot of good meat over the years. The only time I ever cut the ends off the roast is if it’s too big for the pan!”

A few questions to ponder:

What are you doing because you think it is the only way to get it done?
What if you took a moment to question your own motives?
What would you do differently – if you only knew you could?
Are the Choices you make empowering ones?

Peri is the founder of Creators Choice- Programs, Products and People for the Practical Application of Universal Laws. Home for The Turnaround - Curriculum for a Fulfilling Lifestyle, Aware Entrepreneurs, Set Your Compass. Pick up a free report Get Unstuck Now! Listen to a free pre-recorded Tele-Class right now -The Turnaround Now! Six Essential Steps to move from Victim to Self-Empowerment and get current information about Tele-Classes and online programs. theturnaroundnow.com theturnaroundnow.com

Jack Canfield suggests you create a mission statement for yourself and then, when you are sure of your purpose, always say no to anything that does not fit with your mission statement. This is an excellent suggestion, yet one that most of us would find hard to implement. How do you apply a mission statement to a haphazard or overscheduled life, business or organization?

Most of us do not schedule our time wisely until it comes at too high a price to pay. It is not only paramount to write a mission statement but to create and schedule a plan. Half the battle is keeping to the plan. It is like praying every day……you just do it, no matter what, and soon, it becomes a habit and produces results!

Create and carry out daily actions to support your mission statement, pay attention to what is working and what is not and over time, your haphazard life, business or organization will become focused on your intended purpose. Set goals and then create multiple strategic activities to go with each goal. These goals and activities should support your mission statement and when you add the daily actions that must be done to carry out each of your planned strategic activities, this becomes your strategic plan. Remember, not only must you plan your work but you must also work the plan! It is those small, daily actions, performed over time, that will allow you to fulfill your intended mission and purpose. For more detailed, how-to information go to www.missionvisionstatement.com, purchase the e-book Mission and Vision Statements: Your Path to a Successful Business Future and complete the easy-to-use exercises to help you write a mission statement and use it to bring about positive change and achieve your desired future.

Don Midgett, Author
Mission and Vision Statements: Your Path to a Successful Business Future
81 pages, is available in digital format (pdf) at
missionvisionstatement.com missionvisionstatement.com

Don Midgett is the managing partner for the GenesisGroup, helping organizations and leaders discover their full potential. Don specializes in workshops on mission and vision, strategic planning, and team building.

To schedule an interview with Don, email him at don.midgett@missionvisionstatement.com or call 805-746-3161.

From trying to find parking to the pace of life, it can be easy to get stressed out in Long Beach. Long Beach spas are the answer and they even offer parking.

Long Beach is known for being a very peaceful, relaxing place. If you are looking to add some more relaxation to your stay in Long Beach, chances are that you may want to consider trying out one of the spas that this city has to offer you. This article will introduce you to some of the best Long Beach spas.

Mr. and Ms. Spa is one of the most well known and popular Long Beach spas among the locals. With a variety of different services to offer you, Mr. and Ms. Spa strives to fulfill all your spa needs. Some of the services that you will find here include relaxation massage, deep tissue massage, prenatal massage, hot stone massage, reflexology massage, European facial, gentlemen’s facial, rejuvenating facial, glcyolic treatment, back facial, back acne facial, seaweed body masque, hydrating gel body wrap, salt glow, microdermabrasion, lash and brow tinting, ear candling, waxing and aromatherapy foot polish. The spa offers several spa packages, which range from $125 to $250. Mr. and Ms. Spa is located at 1847 Ximeno Avenue, Long Beach, California. To make an appointment at this Long Beach spa, be sure to call 562-498-1300.

Satori Spa, located at 6535 Pacific Coast Highway, is another popular Long Beach spas in the region. This spa offers an array of standard as well as specialized spa treatments that include Swedish massage, deep tissue massage, Shiatsu massage, Pohaku massage, prenatal massage, reflexology, Thai massage, purifying facial, Satori power facial, Epicuren rejuvenating facial, European facial, ultimate facial, gel peel facial, papaya pineapple body treatment, coconut salt glow, Epicuren microderm body polish, Hawaiian mud body mask, rainforest body wrap, purifying back treatment, Satori hand therapy, and Satori foot therapy. The spa packages range from $153 to $360. For an appointment or more information, all you need to do is dial 562-598-9220.

Next in the list of Long Beach spas is the Mirta Moyano Skin Care & Body Spa. The spa located on the 6487 East Pacific Coast Highway is famous for its quality services, tranquil ambience, and top notch and rejuvenating therapies. Its list of services include aromatic body wrap, French body mist, sunless tanning with body exfoliation, back facial, rejuvenating body polish, La Stone therapy, muscle relief technique, Lomi Lomi massage, aromatherapy, Swedish massage, therapeutic massage, prenatal massage, customized hydradermie facial, fruit enzymes treatment, radiant facial, collagen treatment, spa leg and foot therapy, and absolue minceur body treatment. Mirta Moyano Skin Care & Body Spa offers several ready made spa packages which range from $185 to $285. To make an appointment at this spa, you should call 562-598-6110.

These are some of the many Long Beach spas in California. However, one thing that you should remember when considering visiting a Long Beach spa is to make your appointments in advance, as most spas tend to book quickly.

Find more information on resortspadestinations.com/spa day spas in your area at ResortSpaDestinations.com.

There are many aspects to personal growth and development that are important if you are to be successful. You will need to learn new skills, you will need to develop a positive attitude and stay focussed on achieving your objective.

One vital aspect of personal growth and development is that you need to train your mind. Unless you develop a mind that equal to the demands of greater success, your success will be short lived.

Like the legend of Icarus, you may find a way of soaring up to the clouds, but if you don’t have the right mindset you will find that you can’t cope with your new situation and you will crash back to Earth. Some people go through this cycle time and time again without realising that they need to use mind power to develop their strength of character and success mindset.

There are a number of areas where you may need to use mind power for personal growth and development.

Can you believe it, is it important to you?

Your beliefs – what you believe to be true, and your values – what is important to you have a very powerful effect in your behaviour. If you are trying to achieve something that is in conflict with either of these two areas, you will find it difficult or even impossible to achieve long term success.

The most troublesome area is limiting beliefs – statements that begin with “I can’t…”, “I’m not…” or any other negative phrase. If you believe you can’t earn more that $3000 in a month, you will almost certainly find it very difficult to break through this income barrier.

If maintaining a good relationship with your colleagues at work is important and you believe that the promotion you are hoping for will mean that you can no longer be friendly, you will find it hard to drive yourself to get the promotion.

How has your mind been trained?

At a deeper level, we have all been conditioned since childhood and we have habits of thought that are deeply ingrained in our minds. Many of these habits are good for you – checking that there is no traffic when you cross the street is good for your survival!

However you have also probably picked up many habits of thought that are not beneficial. Sometimes these habits express themselves as limiting beliefs. Sometimes your habits of thought affect the way that you process and respond to information as you receive it through your senses. Are you a person who always look for problems or do you habitually try to find solutions?

Your mind has been “trained” by many influences – your parents, your society, your culture, your experiences in life. You will need to examine your thought processes very carefully to detect the subtle influences of your past conditioning.

Use your mind power to overcome your barriers to success

As you have seen, your mind can have many barriers to success built in to it. You may have limiting beliefs that prevent you from getting the results you want. Some of your past conditioning may give you habits of thought that will hinder your progress. You will need to take the time to identify potential problems and then find ways to eliminate them.

The best tool you have to eliminate the barriers to personal growth and development is your own mind. If you use mind power you can overcome any obstacle that you create for yourself.

The challenge you may have is knowing where to start and how to train your mind. There are many good personal growth and development tools available today. There is a selection of tools to help you

“The key to success is to focus our conscious mind on things we desire not on things we fear.”

-Brian Tracy

It’s what we tell ourselves about anything; that will color how we experience it. If you’re focused on what’s wrong in your life; if you’re constantly worried about things; you will attract more of it into your life. It’s time to change your focus away from your problems and begin to know that everything will work out perfectly.

Stop all of the inner dialogue that keeps you stuck on your problems. Quit saying, “I’ll never meet anyone, I’ll never get out of the debt I’m in, my boss is a jerk and he’ll never give me a raise.” By dwelling on your situation with a bad outcome in mind, don’t expect to experience anything other than exactly what you are thinking about.

Whatever it is you are struggling with in your life, you need to let go of the fear, worry, blame or guilt and begin to believe in positive things happening. It’s called faith. If you continually focus your attention on how bad things are and how you never get a break or how things will never be the way you want them to be; there is only one possible outcome that will result from this kind of negative thinking; more of the same, more of what you don’t want.

On the other hand, if you truly begin to have faith in things working out the way you desire, with a positive end result in mind; that is the time you will start to attract it into your life. Faith is; knowing that there is a higher power working in your life for your good. Faith is the absolute belief that everything has a time and place and you are being guided at this very second to experiencing your hearts’ desires.

But…you have to do your part. You can’t just say you have faith and still worry. You can’t say you believe, but constantly fill your mind with doom and gloom. You must rid yourself of these negative, destructive beliefs that serve no other purpose than to keep you mired in the mess you find yourself in.

Instead of magnifying all of the things that are wrong with your life, begin to develop a mindset of unquestionable belief that your life is begin guided by a power greater than yourself. Then, you can let go of all the unnecessary worry that cripples you from enjoying a fulfilling existence.

Obviously, there are times when we want to experience a certain end result regarding a particular situation, but, perhaps things don’t work out the way we would’ve liked them to. The real test of your faith is not attaching yourself to a specific result but accepting the goodness in your life and realizing that regardless; things are working for your good.

For instance; let’s say you really want a certain relationship to work out; you’ve tried everything you possibly know of to make things better and the end result isn’t what you desired. Faith is; knowing that even though “this” particular relationship isn’t going to be “the one” that without a doubt there will be a better one that enters your life.

In focusing on the good and knowing that everything is working out the way it should, is when you can cast aside your controlling, limited thinking and begin to live without the pressure you put on yourself.

Fear is the opposite of faith. So the next time you catch yourself drifting back into worrying and fearing the worst, you can switch your thoughts to what you know is true; everything is working toward your good if you focus on faith and not on fear.

Read more about it in the book, “The 7 Keys to Unlock the Power Within You” found at: susanrusso.com www.susanrusso.com

Susan Russo is the President of Pinnacle Thought Inc. Publisher for books and resources which provide inspiration, self-empowerment and the tools and strategies to help move you toward personal success and fulfillment. She is editor of “You’ve Got Power” Ezine. Author of “The 7 Keys To Unlock the Power Within You” and “There Is Life After What’s-His-Name” found at: whystay.com www.whystay.com
Copyright 2006 Pinnacle Thought Inc.

We can all remember a time when we took it personally, right? We spent all this time, energy, and emotion on processing how we felt when someone slighted us, what we wished we’d said, and what, if anything, we were going to do about it. And most of the time when it was over and we were slumped in out chair feeling exhausted, needing to face a long list of things still to get done, we wish we’d spent our time on something else, something we cared more about, something more productive.

Amazingly, my own experience has shown me that throughout my day people aren’t going around thinking about MY feelings! They’re not saying, “Gee, when I call Mary on the phone, when I send her an e-mail, when I see her in later today, how is she going to feel about what I say or do?” Nooooo, they’re just doing their thing! Still, how often have I reacted to someone or something has said or done when it was delivered in anything less than a positive tone? I mean, how rude, right?

At one point in my AOL career I decided to make big internal move from hard-earned position at the call center manager of 250 people to join the human resources team to head up the company’s first ever corporate training group. I remember a few months after making the move the company held a big party where I ran into a customer service rep who used to work for me.

We started chatting and he remarked, “Mary, I don’t understand why you took this new job. I mean you were doing so well in the call center and you could have gone up and up. It doesn’t make sense.” At first I was shocked and started to take it personally. Was he right? Did I make a mistake to redirect my career? Were other people thinking that bad of me as well? How can he be so rude and mean to me, especially in front of all these people? My mind started racing with questions that just got worse and worse and worse.

Then, somehow I caught myself with a question that stopped the internal rampage. “How come this guy thinks he knows more about what’s best for me than I do?” In that moment I decided that I didn’t need to justify my career move to anyone but myself. I knew why I made the career move and knew in my heart of hearts it was the best thing for me.

To response, I realized that I only needed to make a simple statement. So, I replied, “You know, I think it was the best move for me”, exited myself from the conversation, and moved on. No explanation, no details, just a statement of my truth.

This is what Bodacious Women do. When someone says or does something that sparks an internal reaction, when you start to take it personally, you hesitate and create a few seconds of delay to ask yourself simple questions like “Is this something I ought to pay attention to? Does it really have merit?” It’s amazing when we create a few seconds of delay and ask such questions we often answer ourselves with “No, not enough” and let it go.

Certainly, there are those times when we think, “Well, I may not take this personally, but I need to say something, I need to do something to speak my mind and set the record straight.” Bodacious Women recognize this need and make the phone call, write the e-mail, go see the person, or do whatever they believe is appropriate. And, then, when that’s done, they still let it go. They don’t let the situation take away their precious energy which they need for what they truly cherish.

Creating the habit of not taking it personally isn’t easy, but it’s so worth it. Because if you do, you will save yourself a lot of time, a lot of frustration, and maybe even a little heartache. So, right now, right this very minute decide to stop taking it personally and start taking it bodaciously. You’ll be glad you did!

Copyright (c) 2007 Mary Foley

Mary Foley, author of “Bodacious! Woman: Outrageously in Charge of Your Life and Lovin’ It!” and founder of the Bodacious Women’s Club, inspires women to be courageously in charge of their lives. You can be inspired, too! Get the free audio “Live Like Your Nail Color!” today at