Self Improvement Information

Subtle Energy Fields

Basic to our understanding of energy: is this concept; that man and all life forms are submerged in the electromagnetic energy field of the earth; and further, that each life form has its own electromagnetic field, which, if sufficiently distorted, will ultimately result in disease of the organism.

Accepting that “All is Energy”
Thought itself can be transmitted through the energy field of the earth in the same way as radio messages and “Energy” according to the ancient axiom “follows thought.”

“Energy follows thought”

Lets look on the individual not primarily in physical terms but as a series of interpenetrating energy fields. Modern scientists, supported by Kirlian photography, have noted that living bodies have an energy body, which interpenetrates and sometimes extends beyond the
physical body. Man’s energy body has a number of special energy centers within it known as chakras. These correspond roughly to the organs and glands of the physical body.

The Etheric Fields

In this course we are dealing with force fields of one kind or another, with action at a distance, which presupposes a force field through which that action takes place. We will also come to understand other fields, fields that are more subtle in nature and beyond identification and measurement in the scientifically accepted sense.
The average individual tends to equate space with the gaps that exist between physical objects as something that is empty. Etheric forces in fact occupy it. It is a formative matrix or energy field, which gives birth to matter; it underlies forms, qualities, and events.
Not only the ancient systems of wisdom, but also modern scientists have recognized this:

a) Newton in 1675 spoke of an electromagnetic-like medium “subtle vibrating electric and elastic” which he saw as an inorganic basis of life.

b) In 1704 Mead spoke of atmospheric tides, which he claimed, acted as an “external assistance to the inward causes prevailing in animal bodies” and he described a “nervous fluid” of electricity, which activated the material body.

c) Mesmer also wrote of “animal magnetism”, a medium filling celestial space which he believed capable of acting on the nervous systems of animal forms directly, depending on the individual resonance in the bodies.

d) In 1783, Bertholon published evidence for the influence of atmosphere electricity on vegetation.

e) In 1883, Steward posited the electric conductivity of the earth’s upper atmosphere.

One way to understand the nature of such a field is to place a magnet under a card and sprinkle iron filings over it. The filings arrange themselves along the force lines of the magnet’s field. If the old filings are discarded and new ones placed on the card, they will assume the same pattern as the old. So the bodies molecules and cells are being rebuilt with fresh material from our food, but due to the controlling life-field, the new structures are rebuilt as before and the organism assumes the same pattern.

A scientific theory has been put forward that the human nervous system forms as a result of dynamic forces imposed on cell groups by the total field pattern. This ties in with the theory of the chakras, vortices of energy, which give birth to the ganglia and the nerve plexures of the body.

a) In 1935, Doctors Northrupp and Burr were scientifically investigating the subtle force fields of life, and providing evidence that they had profound importance for medicine, both in the physical and psychological areas of practice … health, they showed, is inextricably linked to field states.

b)Moreover, the state of the individual’s life field and vitality is directly related to the state of the earth’s electromagnetic field, and the fluctuations that occur in that field due to influences
flowing in from space.

Consider some examples:

a) birds and animals commonly desert earthquake areas many hours before quakes; scientists have shown that radical alterations in local electromagnetic fields also occurs hours before quakes;

b) periods of heavy sunspot activity are times of intense difficulty in the area of communication on earth;

c) medical research has correlated periods of electromagnetic field strengthening and influxes of hospital admissions to the psychiatric service. Periods of the full moon have much higher indexes of abnormal activity in psychiatric wards, and also higher crime rates;

d) recent monitoring of electromagnetic fields shows that there is a link between field flow and strength and the movement and intensity of epidemics.

This points to the validity of the ancient axiom that all life is linked by a common ground. Everything has an effort on that field of life; we can either pollute or harmonize this field through the thoughts and actions we express in it.

It has been further shown that suggestion and imagination have a marked effect on the human electromagnetic field.

“The first of all sciences is Man. Therefore, the proper study of man leads to the knowledge of the invisible forces of nature and the way they interact with his whole being”.

Christopher Hills.

Let us first begin to understand what subtle energy fields are.

We are composed of energy fields, which make up who we are. We extend ourselves out ward into the world around us, by our thoughts, our emotions, our ideas, all of who we are.

We are inline with others energy fields as well, when someone gives you “That look” you know what it is, you feel it, good or bad positive or negative.

We send out energy fields all the time, some direct, some not so direct, we should be very aware of what we do but fact is we are not, most of us are not aware at all.

We react to a situation with anger, fear, or joy, laughter without first pausing and reflecting as to why we feel this way.

When we become happy or excited some of us have our faces flush when we become angry or upset some of us have our blood pressure go up with a flushed face and all
when we become filled with joy, our faces radiate out the light that is deep within us.

Those are just basic examples, of what happens to us when we feel emotions.

Energy is with us all the time and for the most part we do not have control over it; it is my sincere hope that you begin to understand that it is a vital part of life and begin to know and come to understand how to use it on a “daily” basis.

Subtle Energy Fields - what they are,
Subtle Energy Fields - how to understand them
Subtle Energy Fields - how to use them in our life
Subtle Energy Fields - how they affect us
Subtle Energy Fields - how to apply them to everyday life

Subtle energy fields are all around if we could but just see them they are infinite, they are everywhere.

EXERCISE: Until next time, write in a notebook all the different feelings that you are aware of.

Also begin to be aware of energy fields in yourself your “aura” which we will also delve into later.

Energy is all around, so look at the high tension wires, the plugs in your homes, the microwaves, the energy off the tv the computer, and any other items that you may feel energy coming from.

Janet Prince is a Spiritual & Creative Life Path Coach,
working with people for over 30 years and
Assisting in Developing, their Vision, Inspiration, Authentic Self

Alternative/Natural Health Consultant/Instructor
…Writer, Poet, Artist,

“Desire, Ask, Believe, Receive.— Stella Terrill Mann

It is all there is we just but perceive ……

To understand why you’re not reaching your goals, take a step back and examine how you see yourself, your career and your world. It’s possible that you view yourself as a mere cog in a wheel, or as means to an end.

On the surface, this may not seem like too big a deal, but it really is a negative view. Holding-on to it will inhibit your success and happiness. A positive, can-do attitude is absolutely essential to success, in business and in life. If you go through life feeling that you are incapable of doing the things it takes to be successful, or that you’re at the mercy of others, you’re going to miss the mark when it comes to attaining the success you desire and deserve.

If, on the other hand, you are able to maintain a positive outlook even in the most trying of circumstances, you’re headed in the right direction. Having a positive attitude is an essential first step toward enjoying the success you so desperately crave (and deserve).

Honest self-examination can be uncomfortable for many people at first. But without it, you’re running the race with blinders on. That’s not to say you should be critical of yourself. Just examine and make note of any beliefs or habits that may be inhibiting you & make a change where needed. Don’t beat yourself up, you’re allowed to be human after all, and you will make mistakes. The key thing is to learn and move forward in spite of your “human-ness”. Success is a long road, and it can take quite some time to get there. It is important to not let yourself be discouraged, and to never give up.

It’s a good idea to study the personal stories of some of the world’s most successful businesspeople. Yes, some of them were born with “silver spoons” in their mouths, but the majority of them have created their own success through lots of hard work and perseverance (note the word “created”).

What sets these successful business owners apart from the crowd is that they do not give up, their success isn’t accidental – it’s created - by them. When you read their stories, you’ll find that many of the ultra-successful and most wealthy business owners went broke or bankrupt along the way, often, multiple times.

Examine their “hard luck” beginnings, and the successes they eventually created, it will become clear to you why most don’t reach their goals. This careful examination will also help you understand the steps you must take, and the qualities you must possess, to make yourself one of those future success stories.

Whatever the nature of your business, it’s imperative to examine the reasons why most don’t reach their goals, and to avoid those mistakes. Emulate the most successful business owners, avoid the negative attitudes of the majority, and you’ll put yourself at the front of the pack – on purpose.

Mike Nalbone’s “Success University” web site is helping thousands of people achieve their personal and financial goals. Visit Mike’s site at: team.upwith.us team.upwith.us

Adapted with permission from Harvard Business School Press from Your Leadership Legacy - Why Looking Towards the Future will Make you a Better Leader Today by Robert M. Galford and Regina Fazio Maruca. Copyright 2006 Robert M. Galford and Regina Fazio Maruca. All Rights Reserved.

Do you think that you are too young to start thinking about the legacy you’re going to leave? Or that you’re too old?

The answer to both of these questions should be “no.” The right time to start thinking about your legacy is now.

Certainly, there are problems with either extreme. For younger leaders, there’s a serious possibility that one’s desired legacies will change over time, as the individual matures and becomes more self-aware. For older leaders, there exists a danger that the process of thinking about legacy will expose regrets over roads not taken. At either extreme, legacy thinking can be unsettling or unfulfilling. But for all the people in between, and even for those at either extreme, the potential upside is greater.

Consider the reactions to the concept of legacy thinking among a group of senior executives from the real estate industry. They were a smart and successful bunch, assembled for an executive program at Harvard, and Rob (one of the authors of Your Leadership Legacy - Why Looking Towards the Future will Make you a Better Leader Today) had the pleasure of working with them for a number of sessions on a variety of topics broadly categorized as leadership.

As you can imagine, an extensive, if not excessive, number of topics fit under that umbrella, and he considered the topic of their legacies among them. So as part of their work together, on the eve of the last day of the program, he asked them to compile a legacy statement-a reflection describing how they wanted to be remembered-as part of their leadership self-examination.

Early the next morning, shortly before the final sessions began, one of the popular members of the group beckoned to Rob and said, “I think you may have wasted your time in asking the people in this group to fill out a legacy statement. It makes sense for someone like me, twenty years older than the average person here and close to retirement, but for the rest of them, I’m not sure it makes that much sense. They’re in the middle of their lives, worried about refinancing mortgages, removing personal guarantees, building wealth. They’re not focusing on things like their legacy and what they want to be remembered for.”

Rob asked him whether he would mind if Rob tested that assertion with the group, asking them up front about the topic’s relevance to their needs and their current existence. The man agreed, and when the class started, the two recounted their conversation. The intensity of the reaction surprised both of them.

They heard what can best be described as an outpouring of personal testimonies-story after story from people in their thirties, forties, fifties, and sixties, describing the impact and meaning they hoped their lives would have. Extremely successful people from all over the world talked about the importance of their work and described how this process of determining one’s intended legacy was among the most important tasks that one could face.

In follow-up conversations a year later with several of the attendees, we found that the topic still resonated. As some of them noted at that time, a thought process not unlike legacy thinking is triggered naturally when a crisis occurs (a life-threatening illness, taking over a parent’s business, and the like). But the kind of thinking that follows a crisis is driven by emotion, and, although it is powerful, the behavior changes it inspires are often not sustainable.

Engaging in legacy thinking in the absence of a crisis, on the other hand, fosters cleaner insights and results in changes that are sustainable. “You shouldn’t need a crisis to get that kind of clarity,” one manager said. “In fact, it’s probably the responsibility of leadership to act as if a crisis of some sort has already occurred, for the company’s sake and for yourself.”

Young or old, new leader or seasoned, legacy thinking helps good managers leverage their strengths and it helps struggling managers gain perspective.

Robert Galford and Regina Fazio Maruca co-authored the new book Your Leadership Legacy-Why Looking Toward the Future Will Make You a Better Leader Today. Galford also co-authored the bestseller The Trusted Advisor, as well as The Trusted Leader. A veteran journalist, Maruca is a former senior editor at the Harvard Business Review and former associate managing editor at the Boston Business Journal and New England Business magazine. For more information see
yourleadershiplegacy.com www.yourleadershiplegacy.com.

At the end of each year, it is always a norm all over the world for people to reflect on the out going year and also plan for the New Year. So many people are filled with regret when they discover that the out going year has been wasted and they couldn’t point to something tangible they have achieved in the year.

Having a successful year is as simple as ABC if only you know how to. Like everything in life, success is a series of processes turning into a system. It is this system that we all need to follow, consistently, if we are to look back at our year with so much satisfaction.

These processes may look simple but if followed to the later, they can bring a huge transformation to one’s life. Make use of the steps below if it is your desire to be successful in this New Year.

1) You need to have a dream. I have looked at my life so many times and I have always discovered that most of the things I have been able to achieve, had been the offshoots of the dreams I had years back.

With a dream, there is no limit to who you can be, what you can have and where you can go. In the New Year, you can’t afford not to have a dream because you will be short-changing yourself if you do not have one. Those who succeed are people with dreams.

2) Think good thoughts. As a man thinks, so is he, is a popular cliché that is heard almost everyday. It has been discovered and proven that our predominant thoughts do become a reality and if this is so, we need to dwell on good thoughts. The main reason people NEVER achieve much in life is because their minds always dwell on negative thoughts.

If all you can produce from your mind are negative thoughts, then you should expect negative results in your life this year. I am sure you don’t want to experience negative things in the New Year, if you don’t, now is the time to begin thinking positively.

3) Discover your potentials. Deposited within every one of us is a huge deposit of diamond that we all need to discover. Life becomes easy for us if we are able to discover our potentials and make use of them.

Our potentials have the ability to take us to places where nothing else can. The gift of man, makes way for him, is what the Bible says and I am a living testimony of this. You too can experience an uplifting in your life if you can discover and exploit the potentials within you in the New Year.

4) Believe in yourself. People that achieve so much in life are people that believe in themselves. Faith in yourself is the binding factor for any achievement. If you are engaged in anything and you don’t believe you can achieve anything from it, then it will be very difficult to make any success out of it.

It is pertinent that you build up your esteem in the New Year so that you can achieve what ever you set your hand on in the New Year. Those who have lost faith in themselves, have lost all.

5) Don’t listen to the critics. Those who want to achieve any meaningful feat in life must face criticism! You need to come to term with this. If you have NEVER being criticized, then you need to take a look at your life. It is possible you are not engaged in anything worthwhile and you may end up living below your standard.

People will always say things about what you are doing and it is your prerogative not to allow their opinions sway you from the line of success you are towing. I would not have been where I am today if I had listened to all the distracting voices years ago.

6) Learn, learn and LEARN! You can’t ever learn enough when there is a dream to achieve. Between where you are and where you want to go, there is a void that needed to be filled and learning is the best way to achieve that.

If all it takes you is to read a book, listen to an audio, watch a video or attend a seminar in order for you to achieve your dreams in the New Year, then so be it. Your quest for knowledge must NEVER be saturated in 2007 and for ever.

7) Never give up! I can tell you that it is possible to achieve your dreams but it won’t be fair if I don’t tell you that there will be challenges on your path as well. You are going to face numerous obstacles along the way, but you must NEVER quit.

No matter what happens to you, quitting must NEVER be an option. So many people have given up just one feet to discovering their gold. You must NEVER be one of this people. If you quit, you will NEVER see the reward of your dream and obscurity will be your portion. I am sure you don’t want this to happen to you.

You can NEVER do without ACTION! Of what use is a dream that is not backed with ACTION? It is better not to dream at all than have one and not act on it. Acting on one’s dream is what makes the difference. Your dreams can become a reality if you can ACT on it.

Nothing will bring you result apart from action! If you are not ready to act, then you are not prepared to reap the reward. In this New Year, you should endeavor to be a person of ACTION. Even if all it takes is for you to take a minute step every day of the year, PLEASE JUST DO IT! You will be surprised at what you have been able to achieve at the end of the year.

9) Let go and let GOD. So many people have doubted the existence of God but I will be so foolish to be one of them. Whenever I look at my life, I see so many events happening that I couldn’t just fathom. I could have explained them away as mere coincidences but it will still amount to foolishness.

There is a God that directs the affairs of men and you need to be in tune with Him if you are going to be TRULY successful this year. You must allow Him to be in the driver’s seat of your life and let Him take you where ever He pleases. By so doing you will experience true success in the coming year.

Dear friend, you have in your hands the blue prints for your success in this New Year. I have always said it and I don’t think I want to ever stop saying it, it is NEVER what you know that matters, it is what you do with it!

To understand the steps discussed in this article better, I have just created an Ecourse just for you. You can subscribe by sending a blank email to: successfulyear@getresponse.com

This is to your success in 2007 and the coming years.

Your friend,

Adebola Oni

Adebola Oni is the Author of “The Lessons Of Life”. So many lives have been touched by his newsletter, Life Lessons Digest. You can have a copy delivered to you every week by visiting his website:

It is quite natural for everyone to feel anxious at some time in their life. Whether it is before a big meeting, before the wedding, or even if it is before going out of the front door, anxiety and panic attacks are a part of life. Anxiety from sudden exposure to something you don’t like such as a snake or spider is natural and most people deal with it very quickly and calm down.

However, an estimated 15% of the population suffers from the terrible effects of constant anxiety. In fact, they suffer so bad that they may find they can’t even leave the house! As you can imagine, this level of anxiety is not good.

When an anxiety or panic attack starts typically you will feel some of these common symptoms:

* Faster heart rate
* Shaking
* Uncontrollable sweating
* Dizziness
* Shortness of breath

A panic attack can last anything from a few seconds to a few minutes or even longer. After a panic attack you may experience even more negative emotions such as depression, frustration or even anger at yourself.

There is a multitude of ways to dealing with your anxiety and panic attacks. You could take medication for it, but they tend to have a whole host of unpleasant side effects. Therapy is another option, but for some it is too expensive. Hypnosis though works really well and can resolve you anxiety in just a few sessions, and I can highly recommend it.

In order to overcome your anxiety you can teach yourself deep breathing techniques. Concentrate now on breathing from your stomach rather than your chest. This means that when you breathe in your stomach expands, and when you breathe out your stomach contracts and you pull it in. Deep breathing from the stomach is incredibly relaxing, and you will find it very hard to get anxious whilst breathing in this way.

When you start to get anxious you will notice that your breathing becomes shallower (i.e. from your chest) and quicker. If you try breathing shallowly from your chest now, notice how you feel. How do you feel?

Yeah, you feel anxious and nervous. So if you can start to consciously breathe from your stomach as soon as you feel an anxiety or panic attack coming on, then you will calm yourself down and feel better.

This is a wonderful natural way to deal with anxiety so you can overcome it. I personally have an extreme phobia of spiders, yet through this deep breathing and remaining relaxed I can catch a spider in a glass and take it out of the house. It really works, and it works well.

Take back control of your life and banish your anxiety and panic attacks through learning to control your breathing.

Jason E Johns is a clinical hypnotherapist and author specialising in helping
people transform their lives. If you found these tips on anxiety and panic attacks
useful, you can learn a lot more about how to manage anxiety and panic attacks
at his unlimitedconfidence.com/anxiety_and_panic_attacks.php anxiety
and panic attacks website unlimitedconfidence.com/anxiety_and_panic_attacks.php unlimitedconfidence.com/anxiety_and_panic_attacks.php

So what are we really talking about when we say: “the overall benefits of improving self esteem?” What are they? It is only when I began to seriously think about it that I could see the real impact self esteem has not only on my state of mind but on how I perceive everything.

I have had days when something would make me fly off the handle and days where the identical event made me smile. So what is the common denominator in this mix of life? I cannot deny that it is indeed, me, myself and I! And what is the key element that colors my perception? How I feel about myself at that moment. So the overall benefits of improving self esteem reach into every aspect of life and how we perceive the world. Every external event is experienced through an internal mental filter. It makes me wonder at the existence of a constant reality. For a long time the thought of no solid “truth” was an un-nerving idea. How could there NOT be one truth? How could it be conceivable that MY truth was not necessarily THE truth? Could the overall benefits of improving self-esteem actually extend into altering my perception of reality?

In my continuing search for answers I tested out various forms of classes, self-improvement seminars and books. The more I pursued this transformational process, the more I noticed an underlying resistance within to the act of transformation, the little devil on the shoulder that I call my “gremlin.” As I continue to seek out answers my gremlin has become more and more comical and carries less weight. “Bah humbug” I hear it’s rattly little voice like a cartoon character “What a bunch of nonsense jabbering on about your thoughts on the overall benefits of improving self esteem! Who wants to hear about that anyhow!” I glance over now at the little gremlin and tell it to go back to playing in its sandbox.

I would like to share a small excerpt from my autobiography “Firewalker” in which I travel to one of the first motivational seminar events that I attended accompanied of course by my gremlin.

Excerpt from “Firewalker:”

“Even with unpacking left to do, the slow pace of the southern summer relaxed me. I had booked an early morning flight, looking forward to the seminar. Now, a feeling of dread hit me while boarding the plane. I slumped down into the cramped coach seat, pressing my forehead against the window. I felt ill; my stomach churned and my head hurt. Most of all, I felt immensely grouchy. “Are you OK, Miss?” The flight attendant asked. “Yes, thank you.” I forced out a smile. No is really what I wanted to say. I don’t feel well at all. And look at this, I’m breaking out. What is wrong with me?

People were still filing in, slowly crowding into the middle aisle as they shuffled to the back of the plane. Everywhere I looked made me feel worse. In every person I found a flaw. An ongoing dialog of rude commentaries ran through my mind. The seat felt uncomfortable and my body ached. I fidgeted with the seatbelt restlessly. Why do I suddenly feel so terrible, after looking forward to this for weeks? What am I afraid of? I closed my eyes and let my mind ramble on.

If this speaker, this man is right, hell, if I am right, then everything I have ever been told is truly wrong. The very things I fought against so desperately, all that I had striven to prove wrong to myself were now on the brink of extinction. Somehow the thought of such massive acknowledgement disturbed me. In my life, allies of this nature have been in short supply. As awful as all those past beliefs were, they still held some strange comfort for me. Now these feelings struggled within me, bringing massive pain.

My mind kept churning. What if he is a fake? The last thing I’m going to waste my time on is some soapbox junkie who professes to know everything. I’d never fall for that. This guy better be for real. If anything, I had become a hard sell these days. If I feel this bad, I must be on the right track…The truth of this made me smile. Every time I came to the edge of a great leap, something that could propel me ahead like nothing else, I seized up inside. That “gremlin,” as I called it, ego to others, lambasted my senses with doubt and fear. An internal scream rang through me. This is how I knew when something interesting beckoned. I wished my little gremlin could just go along for the ride, finally confident that I know what I am doing.”

As I continue on this journey I find improving self-esteem is far more encompassing than I could have ever imagined. This is both scary and freeing, if everything is mental, shaped by our perception of ourselves, then it is within our power to change it, after all we are talking about our own inner realities.

I hope you have a chance to visit my website: high-self-esteem.com

Lyca Shan
Author~Speaker
To find out more about Lyca Shan visit:
high-self-esteem.com high-self-esteem.com

Self-confidence is essentially an attitude which allows us to have a positive and realistic perception of ourselves and our abilities. It is characterised by personal attributes such as assertiveness, optimism, enthusiasm, affection, pride, independence, trust, the ability to handle criticism and emotional maturity.

Confidence is learned, it is not inherited. If you lack confidence, it probably means that, as a child, you were criticised, undermined, or suffered an inexplicable tragic loss, for which you either blamed yourself or were blamed by others. A lack of confidence isn’t necessarily permanent but it can be if it isn’t addressed. Our religion, the influence of the culture which formed our perspectives, our gender, social class and our parents, in particular, are all factors which influence and contribute to our level of confidence and esteem.

Confident people have deep faith in their future and can accurately assess their capabilities. They also have a general sense of control in their lives and believe that, within reason, they will be able to do what they desire, plan and expect, no matter what the foreseeable obstacle. But this faith is guided by more realistic expectations so that, even when some of their goals are not met, those with confidence continue to be positive, to believe in themselves and to accept their current limitations with renewed energy. However, having high self-confidence does not mean they will be able to do everything they want. That view is unrealistic, one for the perfectionists. A desire to be good at everything we do in order to impress others stems from a competitive instinct and lack of personal reinforcement. Any truly successful life has both rewards and the ability to learn from any setbacks, which increase our resilience, self- belief and determination. Real confidence requires that we face the possibility of failure constantly and deal with it. However, if we consistently lose out on both achievement and validation, even our identity is called into question.

Self-esteem is the opinion you have of yourself. It is based upon how you perceive your value as a person, particularly with regard to the work you do, your status, achievements, purpose in life, your perceived place in the social order, potential for success, strengths and weaknesses; how you relate to others and your ability to stand on your own feet. Because esteem is a perception of your worth, your own value of yourself dictates how others perceive you too. Buddhists classify low self-esteem as “a negative emotion or delusion, which exaggerates one’s limitations in capacity, quality and potential for growth”. It results from having a poor self-image according to personal experience in all the elements of life mentioned above. People with poor esteem never feel in charge of their lives. They often feel like victims, or outsiders - ignored, excluded, unimportant, insignificant and unloved. As they spend their lives internalising the criticism of others, taking it to heart while searching constantly for that elusive acknowledgment, their personal assessment will reflect itself in the appraisal of others – no more, no less. But if we allow others to take control of decisions we should make, we gradually become dependent upon them too, abdicating responsibility for our lives, which tends to lead to us being doormats for other people’s benefit.

Low self-esteem usually has three sides. The first is exhibited by the individual who always seems to be the underdog, the under-achiever, the negative one who says “I couldn’t”, “I shouldn’t”, “I can’t”, “I have no choice” and “I have to”. The opposite side to that, and the second type, is the person who seems very confident superficially, a take-charge type of person, appearing to be much in control, very opinionated and often found in leadership positions. But this is usually a mask for low self-esteem because he/she is likely to be tense, serious, anxious and finicky. When things go wrong that’s when the low esteem comes to the fore. Often perfectionists, they find crises difficult to handle and tend to blame others for everything. They are usually demanding, self-centred, very independent, markedly self-sufficient in their distrust of others and slow to take criticism, instruction or direction. Locked in their own narrow world, they dread new experiences, always going by the book and resenting innovation. In effect, occupying leadership positions without being true leaders. This type of low self-esteem will often deny that anything is wrong, because their belief in being totally in charge and more competent than their bosses or subordinates, is their main protection. Yet being fully in charge of your life actually eliminates the need for anger, insecurity and the desire to judge, control or denigrate others.

Fun Seekers

The third type of personality is the one who is always seeking fun and happiness from others, especially partners and love interests. Laughter becomes a mask for the low opinion these people have of themselves, so everything is done with an emphasis on ‘fun’ to make them feel worthy - either finding it or giving it. Sensitive and thin-skinned, fun people have very low self-esteem, hiding their anxieties behind a bland mask of cheerful superficiality that tends to grate on others after a time because they don’t know when to stop being happy and playing the fool. Like the office clown who tries terribly hard to show how ‘happy’ she is, yet is anything but that; the practical joker who likes to laugh at the expense of others, particularly through racist, sexist or offensive quips – anything to feel superior; the lad who is always hanging out with friends because he cannot stand his own face or company for any length of time; the type who loves a dare, particularly in doing outrageous things, to show his bravado, talent and machismo, and the ones who boast to potential dates about being able to make them laugh and keep them happy.

In relationships, fun people find it hard to commit to others because of their acute social fears. The main desirable attribute they offer to potential partners is ‘fun’, always seeking laughter, sex and good times to hide their insecurity and pain. However, as ‘fun’ people always try too hard, they are in fact the most boring, mirthless people around, the type who have little humour themselves. It then becomes heavy work for their partners. This is because laughter has to be found within us. No one can make us happy, only enhance that happiness. Fun people’s method of feeling significant is to be the centre of attention in a more positive way. But, as their activity is often not genuine, more to hide their low confidence than to enhance it, their effort isn’t really effective. They never openly address their personal pain or hurt. They are reluctant to trust others and are even more reluctant to commit themselves to anyone, which makes them feel insignificant if they are not being perennially happy lads or laddettes. To behave otherwise would deny them the attention they crave.

Many people with low self-esteem gravitate towards the uniformed and public services where they can use the power invested in them, while being validated by the uniform and authority, to boost their self- confidence and ego. The strict hierarchy affords the security of a given status, reinforces the ‘traditions’ to be maintained, and the consistent feedback they require. However, that is also what makes change so difficult to introduce in these occupational fields. The fear of innovation and the lack of self-belief to carry it out foil them every time. Very confident people tend to become scientists, engineers, entrepreneurs, writers or creative, artistic types, preferring to control their own environment and destiny. The commercial, media and technology spheres also appear to provide the freedom of expression and the font of opportunity they actively seek.

ELAINE SIHERA (Ms Cyprah - myspace.com/elaineone myspace.com/elaineone) is an expert author, media contributor and columnist. The first Black graduate of the OU and a post-graduate of Cambridge University, Elaine is a CONSULTANT for Diversity Management, Personal Empowerment and Relationships. Dynamic extrovert with a passion for living and people. Author of: 10 Easy Steps to Growing Older Disgracefully; 10 Easy Steps to Finding Your Ideal Soulmate!; Money, Sex & Compromise and Managing the Diversity Maze, among others (available on amazon.co.uk amazon.co.uk). Also the founder of the British Diversity Awards and the Windrush Achievement Awards.

With tax season coming upon us, I decided to sit down with Amanda Mills of Loose Change, Inc. and capture some of the wisdom she’s gained in over 20 years experience as a financial and business management consultant for artists.

The tax system can be hard on artists. Artists just don’t fit into a typical career path of making a set amount of money and then increasing that slightly year-by-year.

Here are the 7 most important lessons I learned from speaking with Amanda about artists, money and taxes.

1. Make your passion into a business. Claiming to the world, the government and yourself that your art is a business is a hugely important step that requires courage and confidence. Reporting the income you generate from your art shows that you’re taking your art and yourself seriously.

Actions: Consider the beliefs that are underlying your decision of whether or not to report your earnings as an artist. And by all means, consider hiring a professional like Amanda Mills to help you out.

Amanda’s clients value her unique expertise and understanding of the arts because she takes them seriously. Other accountants might look at the small earnings of an artist and ask, “Why bother?” Amanda treats your identity and earnings as an artist with respect and gives them the attention they deserve.

2. Fund your passion with a supplemental job. A “day job” doesn’t have to be something that makes you miserable. If it is, it’s costing you a lot more than you’re earning and you’d be better off finding something else.

Look at the big picture - your supplemental job doesn’t have to be something you’re passionate about; its function is to provide the funding for what you ARE passionate about.

Here’s where a supplemental job can really make things easier with taxes. Let’s say your supplemental job is teaching at a university, and you make $80,000 a year. You’re also a sculptor, and you’ve established your sculpting as a business.

You spend $40,000 on your sculpting in a year. Because it’s a business, you can claim that as a business expense. So, instead of paying taxes on the $80,000 you earned at your supplemental job, you only have to pay taxes on $40,000. That could save you over $13,000 in taxes.

Action: Weigh out the costs and earnings of your “day job”. Consider the financial costs (child care, gas, transit, parking, clothing, supplies, training, etc.), time costs (travel time, time spent at work, bringing work home with you, etc.), mental costs (getting distracted trying to solve work problems when you’re at home, or other stressful thoughts related to work), and lastly the emotional costs (being miserable in a job you don’t like, interpersonal conflicts with colleagues, or feelings that the job or company is not aligned with your personal values).

3. Art is life and life is art. For artists, there’s much more of a blurred line between personal and professional life.

Whether you’re taking a trip, having lunch with a friend or seeing a movie, chances are that what you’re doing will influence your creative work in some way.

And if you’re not directly absorbing inspiration, you’re fueling it in your conversations, by talking about your work. And so these activities can often be deducted as business expenses.

Action: Keep track of everything you’re spending money on and keep notice of how it affects the business of your art. Get receipts for everything and keep these in a folder, envelope or box marked, “Expenses”.

4. Live at the bottom of the curve and keep your footprints small. Artists often have an irregular flow of income coming in, so managing cash flow can be tricky. It’s important to see the low times (when less money is coming in) as “normal”, and budget yourself to be able to live on that. Keep your footprints small by minimizing the costs of your lifestyle.

Then, when good times happen and some money is rolling in, you’ll be able to take care of some bigger things – get the car fixed, for example, or put some money aside for the next low time.

Action: Save three to six months of living expenses. Start small, just by putting aside one week of expenses. This is the best step you can take to reduce the impact of a fluctuating income.

5. Flatten your income. Artist incomes can vary wildly from year to year. One of Amanda’s jobs is to “flatten” a client’s income out from one year to another. Sometimes that’s purely on paper and sometimes that’s through strategic actions on the part of the artist.

It’s especially important that by your third year in business, you’re showing some earnings as an artist (that’s often the “red flag” point of time for the tax collectors).

Amanda recommends that her clients help this along by making extra efforts to book shows, apply for as many grants as possible, or by donating their artwork to charity.

Actions: Be mindful of the ebb and flow of your income, and how that will show on paper at tax time; not just this year, but in the history and future of your art business. Also, be sure and tell your tax preparation specialist about any upcoming opportunities on the horizon.

6. Think ahead and get your records organized. Contrary to the myth of the “flaky artist”, Amanda finds that most artists are quite organized.

Actions:

1. Get started by checking out the resources at Amanda’s Artbooks site (see below).
2. Find all of your revenue and expense receipts, sort them and add them up.

7. Come to peace with paying your taxes. Think of it as rent for your country. If you’re making money at your art, get someone to figure out what percentage of your gross income goes to taxes, and send in your taxes as regular payments throughout the year.

Otherwise, unless you’re incredibly disciplined at setting these amounts aside, you’ll end up scrambling to come up with this big lump sum of money at tax time. This is a recipe for fiscal disaster.

Action: Decide upon quarterly or monthly tax payments, or perhaps pay after you’ve received a big payment such as a grant or a paid lecture.

© Linda Dessau, 2006.

Linda Dessau, the Self-Care Coach, helps artists enhance their creativity by addressing their unique self-care issues. Feel like your creativity is blocked? Visit genuinecoaching.com genuinecoaching.com to sign-up for your complimentary copy of the popular e-course, “Roadblocks to Creativity”. And for more information about artists, money and taxes, check out Amanda’s websites, loosechange.ca loosechange.ca and loosechange.ca/artbooks.html loosechange.ca/artbooks.html

There are many factors involved in how a person adapts to the death of a loved one. They range from the meaning of the loss and previous loss experiences of the bereaved to the way the loved one died and the social support system available, to name a few.

Nevertheless, much is known about what exacerbates the grief process and prolongs, in some instances intensifies, pain and suffering. Learning what doesn’t help when mourning can add immeasurably to the progress of your grief work. And work it is when attempting to manage the many aspects of change brought on by major loss.

Here are six key understandings about what not to do when grieving and therefore save the large amount of emotional energy they suck up.

1. Refuse to isolate yourself. There are clearly times when you need to be alone and you have to tell your caregivers thank you and excuse yourself. On the other hand, continually staying away from social interaction is extremely unwise. Even though you don’t feel like being around others, remember it is highly therapeutic to tell the story of your loved one and how the death is affecting you.

2. Refuse to stop eating. Often you may not feel like eating, which is a common reaction. Yet it is essential to drink water and eat a green salad each day as well as small amounts of protein. It is essential for one key reason: grieving takes an enormous amount of energy. Be aware that many mourners become ill partly because of poor eating and the increase in caffeine consumption. Combined with the distress of grief they compromise the immune system.

3. Refuse to stay around toxic people. Often well-meaning friends and neighbors say the wrong things at the worst possible time causing additional stress and pain. It is your right to excuse yourself from their presence and make every attempt to minimize your contact with them during the most sensitive time of your mourning.

4. Refuse to let pity get the best of you. It is quite normal to think why did this have to happen to me at this particular time, and to say to yourself it is very unfair. But to assume the role of victim, and continue the focus on pity, results in an immobilizing state that injects emotional poison into the process of adjustment. Switch from focusing on the ngative to where must I go from here.

5. Refuse to use alcohol to assuage the pain of loss. Many who have suffered the loss of a loved one have reacted by either starting the use of alcohol or increasing the amount they drink. Keep in mind that alcohol is a depressant and if you are already down or depressed it will augment your depression. Choose the best alternative: interaction with a trusted friend at the time you would normally do your drinking.

6. Refuse to believe you are being punished. Some mourners believe that the death of their loved one is in part punishment for real or imagined transgressions. They think, I’m bad and I deserve this pain and suffering. This attitude has no basis in truth but is often spawned by the neurotic guilt (guilt in which the effect is all out of proportion to the cause) that is a common part of grieving. God or the Universe does not operate in this fashion should you believe in this myth.

In summary, coping with the death of a loved one is a stressful and demanding ordeal. And, there are a number of negative behaviors that creep into the coping process that you can avoid. Be willing to seek information about grief. There are many organizations out there that sponsor support groups, and facilitators well versed in understanding the grief process, which will help without charge.

Remember, we need each other. It is not a sign of weakness to seek assistance in time of need. Rather, it is a sign of intelligent choice.

Dr. LaGrand is a grief counselor and the author of eight books, the most recent, Love Lives On: Learning from the Extraordinary Encounters of the Bereaved. He is known world-wide for his research on the Extraordinary Experiences of the bereaved (after-death communication phenomena) and is one of the founders of Hospice of the St. Lawrence Valley, Inc. His website is extraordinarygriefexperiences.com extraordinarygriefexperiences.com

Just for fun the other day, I pretended to be Jesus in His Ascension and Second Coming. I Google Earthed my flights both from and to the Church of the Ascension, just East of the Temple Mount on the Mount of Olives. Interesting experience.

“Men of Galilee,” they said, “why do you stand here looking into the sky? This same Jesus, who has been taken from you into heaven, will come back in the same way you have seen him go into heaven.”
Acts 1:11

The first thing you notice in the Ascension away from the Mount of Olives is just how quickly Jerusalem falls out of view and the surrounding mountains of brown and valleys most obscure come into view. Wow, everyone disappeared into nothingness pretty darn quickly. As I drew back even more you could see all of Israel and the Med and soon all of the Middle East with Africa, Europe and China coming into the scene very quickly. Jerusalem and the launch pad were long gone…lost in the browness of mountains that folded and swirled as you could see the forces that created them pushing on them. Needless to say, the whole earth finally came into view, beautiful and round. A blue ball in the blackness of space. Stars appeared and then the sense that the earth is absolutely nothing in, not even a speck if you were able to keep backing the picuture out into space. The sun is just an average star of billions in our galaxy and our galaxy is one billions swirling in space. Our Universe may be a finite thing in infinite space. It may be one grape of a cluster of Universes. It’s the view Jesus would have had as he ascended and I wondered at what point I/He would have thought “this is far enough from earth, I am home for now.” Like Superman, I also wondered how he could breathe much above 20,000 feet or stay warm, but I guess that’s where the magic of being God comes in.

At any rate, the earth was gone, the solar system was gone, the swirl of stars in the Orion arm of our galaxy was gone as was the galaxy…One did have to wonder how Jesus would ever be able to find us again. So I pushed the return button on Google Earth. Magic! I quickly sped past galaxies and eventually a star when by that seemed familiar, soon a moon raced at me and passed and then, sure enough a blue orb…earth, I saw Africa, China, and the Middle East Again. The Americans were sleeping on the other side. Iraq to the East, Egypt to the South and then Israel….zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom! There is Jerusalem…the Mount of Olives and TOUCHDOWN! I was back in the same way I left and right to Mt. of Olives as scheduled.

I played with a few times. Ascending out to the blackness of space and then zooming in for a Second Coming, seeing it all just as Jesus would have going both ways. I did have a few thoughts about this amazing theological trip.

1. The Middle East is brown and it’s hard to find any humans from very far up.

2. If I personally had a choice, I’d want to return to near Southern Ohio or Virginia where it is simply beautiful when seen from the heights.

3. I suspect at the rate we are going, anything or anyone that attempts to land without permission in the Middle East will be shot down. I would suspect if it was Jesus, it might cause some problems in response and here we go again in the Middle East. Eye for eyelash stuff.

4. Since most of the Christians are no longer in the Middle East, how about a new return spot in beautiful Germany, France or Switzerland? Less shooting down possibilities and much more green.
I would not suggest a Washington D.C. landing as there has never been room for two god’s in the same location in the history of the world as far as I can tell. They usually break out into arguing and saying things to each other like, “I know you are but what am I?” etc.. Not good. Michael Rene’ and Gort the Robot tried that in the 50’s and it was nothing but trouble.

5. I would not suggest a Second Coming in Texas either. While it looks like the Middle East in many ways, and might feel familiar, many of the earth gods vacation there and again, it could cause a problem like some War of the Worlds thing again. Besides, Jesus might get busted by Homeland Security for an illegal return flyover, be imprisoned at Gitmo and never seen again. By the time he came up for trial, God the Father prolly would have changed his mind about the whole Second Coming thing anyway and sprung him.

6. I did wonder why this planet was so special in Google Earthing the Ascension and Second Coming. I can see if back then one thought they were all there was and the center of it all, the story would evolve that way. But we know now that in a flash , Where’s Waldo?” can evolve into “Where’s that Galaxy again?” So I wonder if there is salvation for life in other of the billions of galaxies. There has to be unless there are areas where Salvation is not offerend kinda like the sweat shop thing that we don’t want to think about when we buy our expensive stuff in this country. What is there is a place where our crowns and robes, the ones promised when the Second Coming is for US, are made in galactic sweatshops in a parallel or distant universe or galaxy? Gosh, don’t tell me. I’ll feel bad about that!

7. When you Google Earth in any spot, one does see what a great place this is to live compared to , oh say, the moon or mercury. Water, wind, moderate temps, clouds, sweetgrass, rivers and trees. Amazing lifeforms in a good way which often would exlude the hairless apes that spend most of their timing tormenting other hairless apes out of their money, land, possessions and lives. I don’t mean them.

So try it sometime and see if you don’t get the same impression. Google Earth yourself the Ascension of Jesus from the Mt. of Olives and then return to it, “quickly” as it says in Revelation, thought God’s idea of quickly is not quite what a human might have in mind. It’s easy, fun and educational and makes you feel pretty darn special for a few moments. Google Earth on Dude!