Self Improvement Information

Do you realise that have been self hypnotising all your life? You just haven’t realised it.

Let me explain with an example.

Have you tried calling a child away from an absorbing Play Station game or maybe ‘The Simpsons’ on TV to come and have their meal? If they acted as if they didn’t hear you, chances are they didn’t. They are in a trance very similar to hypnosis with their mind a million miles away.

We all have these trance (hypnotic) like states and there is a problem – this state is very powerful and our thoughts positive and negative are being fed into our subconscious. The importance of this? The trouble is that your home grown hypnosis sessions are likely to have been to your disadvantage. Let me explain.

Here’s weird.

I used to have total confidence when talking in front of a large audience but would often feel uncomfortable and intimidated when speaking one to one with someone that I perceived as ‘important’.

When I got to analysing this I realised just how much negative chatter was going on in my head and latched onto hypnosis as a possible weapon to overcome my discomfort in one to one encounters.

For whatever reason from my past my subconscious had learned to respond in a certain physical way when encountering ‘important’ people. The change in me by using a self confidence hypnosis session was simply unbelievable. No more sweaty palms and armpits or palpitations. Dramatic, instant, satisfying.

I felt as if I had made a secret discovery and was hooked.

Hypnosis is simple really and is based on the uncomplicated fact that you can re-programme your subconscious mind. It is the subconscious mind that REALLY RULES your life. What it learns is what it delivers permanently unless it is taught something different. Hypnosis is a direct way of inputting information you want your subconscious to take on board to replace the garbage that has accumulated over the years.

There’s a saying that I would like to amend – “You are what you eat”

Here’s my version – “You are physically what you eat, you are what you think”

According to my mate Adam Eason a leading hypnotherapist here in the UK –

If you think it, it is true.
If you say you CAN’T do something – you know what – you are absolutely right.
BUT –
If you say you CAN do something – you know what – you are also right.
Think about that.

Re-read it.
Think!

A wealth of information, courses, podcasts, ezines and free hypnosis sessions are available at adam-eason.com Adam Eason’s Website It can seriously improve your life.

1. Develop pacing naturally.

When you first learn how to pace, it can sound very stiff and robotic. But pacing can become a very natural part of you. Just feed them back their statement with a question. It is important to remember not to paraphrase, but to use the same words the person you are talking to is using. If they say, “I went to such and such movie last weekend”, you can respond by asking, “Oh, you went to a movie last weekend?” Covert hypnosis is about allowing all of these complex methods to flow unconsciously. The more questions you ask using their own language, the faster you will build rapport.

2. Keep your attention external.

You are trying to persuade another person which means you want to observe their actions. That means you should pay no attention to your own thoughts. Each time you go inside yourself and ask yourself a question about the situation, you are no longer watching them and you may miss what is really going on. Simply watch their facial expressions, body language, and listen to the types of words they use without thinking about what technique you should be applying based on their actions. Your response should be unconscious and come about naturally. This is the secret of the real covert hypnosis masters.

3. Write 100 examples of a new language pattern.

If you have to think about a language pattern in order to use it, then its effectiveness has been severely diminished. Language patterns should be expressed unconsciously and naturally. This can be done by writing out 100 examples of a newly learned language pattern. Then go out and slip into every conversation as many times as you can. Do it so often that you become bored with it. Then move onto learning a new pattern. But remember covert hypnosis is not about learning patterns. Without the right emotional state, body language, tonality, and rapport you will most likely be perceived as a strange talking weirdo!

4. Learn their yes and no positions.

Everyone has a direction the move towards when they say yes and no. They will tend to nod in that direction, and they may even turn their body slightly or even to a large degree in that direction. Learn their yes and no positions and gesture in those directions accordingly depending on your objective. If you want them to perceive something in the negative then anchor that thing in their “no” position. If you want them to perceive something in the positive then anchor that thing in their yes position. Good salespeople use their hands often placing their product into their client’s “yes” space and their competition into their client’s “no” space.

5. Learn 3 minute stories.

Telling stories is one of the most powerful ways to persuade someone. Our brains are wired for metaphor. We experience reality through concepts and not directly. Learning to tell short stories with a covert message in under three minutes will increase your persuasions skills exponentially. Practice a story many times in the mirror using different tonality and body language. Express the emotion outwardly that a words represents. Tell these stories to as many friends and family members as possibly. Then begin telling your stories to strangers.

6. Learn their representational systems.

People’s representational systems are predominantly visual, auditory, or kinesthetic (VAK). I can see the bright blue ocean, I can hear the crashing of the waves, or I can feel the warm sun on my skin and the sand beneath my toes. Some so-called experts like to give percentages, but this is just a model and every person is different. Speak to others from their own unique perception of the world. What types of sensory vocabulary do they respond more to? It is possible for someone to have a predominant visual rep system, but also respond favorably to sound words. Each person is unique. Find out why!

7. Anchor yourself and others.

Many NLP practitioners learn to anchor the emotional states of others, but never apply the same anchors to themselves. By learning to anchor your own emotional states you will have a better understanding of how those same triggers work on others. Anchors can be anything. Traditional anchoring involves a touch on the shoulder or hand, but actually we can anchor facial gestures, a lean of the body, a certain word. Use anything you want to. It’s ok to be creative when using these covert hypnosis techniques.

8. Feel that what you want others to feel.

After you learn to anchor your own emotional states you can put yourself in the same state that you want to elicit in another person. If your outcome is to make another person feel good, but you do not feel good because you are stressed out about other issues, you probably will not get very far. A person’s unconscious mind picks out every facial expression, every minute detail of body language. Learn the art of self-hypnosis. If you cannot get excited about the product you are selling, how can you expect someone else to?

9. Practice tonality with yourself.

I have plenty of hypnosis CDs by other hypnotists. Some of them are really wonderful, some of them need to thrown in the trash. The deciding factor is 9 out of 10 times, tonality. If you are being told to relax, but the pace of speech is fast and jittery, and the voice is uneven and high-pitched, you mostly like will become uneasy and nervous. Learn to slow down and draw out your words. Drop the pitch of your voice and learn how to turn tag questions into commands.

10. Keep a journal.

Make sure you write an entry in a journal every day. Include every thing you tried out during the course of the day. Write down what did work and what did not work. After you have written for a few months look for common themes your unconscious mind may be communicating to you. When you feel down because you are not sure if this covert hypnosis mumbo jumbo is working or not, review your journal. You will be surprised how far you have come along.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Allen Parks helps people to learn techniques of meditation, conversational hypnosis, persuasion and metaphor in order to increase the quality of their lives. Read more about these topics at his website covertmetaphor.com covertmetaphor.com

As lives are getting busier and pressure levels are increasing, people are trying to find ways to de-stress. One of the ways people are reducing their stress levels is by purchasing a hot tub for your garden.
By reducing your stress levels it improves your overall heath levels and leads to an overall better life
Many people have experienced hot tubs and spas at fitness clubs but assume that they are costly. However, hot tub prices are surprisingly affordable.

There are many benefits from owning your own hot tub. The hot tub massaging jets are able to remove the aches and pains from your body from after a busy day.
Hot tubs are also a perfect opportunity to spend some quality family time which all of the family will enjoy.

Hot tubs can be positioned inside as well as in the garden; the choice is entirely up to you. Many people are replacing their bath with a hot tub or converting the garage into a hot tub room. By placing it inside you are able to use it when the weather leaves much to be desired!
The majority of people prefer to have the tub in the garden; this could be situated on the patio or somewhere more private within your garden.
There are hottubs2buy.co.uk/tub_overview.html Jacuzzi on the market that are perfect for building into a wooden deck.

There’s is nothing like soothing away the stress of the day in your own hot tub looking up into the sky with the stars twinkling or even on a crisp winters evening with the stream rising as the snow is settling

Looking after a hot tub can be very easy as long as you keep on top of it. Simple tasks like keeping the cover on, for example, ensure the heat is maintained.
Treating the water in the hot tub will ensure its safe at all times, so whenever you fell like a relaxing soak the tub is ready for you.

There are many other ways to make your tub more relaxing. Try using different aromatherapy products, or making use of illumination within your tub.
If the idea of a relaxing hot tub in your garden sounds like the perfect way to wind down after a hard days work then why not start shopping around for hottubs2buy.co.uk/ Hot tubs and Jacuzzi’s ?

“The only way to enjoy anything in this life, is to earn it first.”
-Ginger Rodgers

One bad apple can spoil the bunch! As a leader, we cannot allow “bad apples” to interrupt our efforts toward achieving our goals.

Leaders can quickly lose credibility with their team when we fail to immediately address issues that get in the way of the teams’ mission.

So how do we best address an issue with an employee that we perceive to be a “bad apple”?

First, we self-assess our own actions. The three key leadership areas that we must consistently hold ourselves accountable to:

- Teach
- Coach
- Expect

Teach - Have you, as the leader, taken the time to communicate your expectations clearly? Have you taught the employee?

Coach - Have you provided the one-on-one training and coaching to ensure the employee is capable of meeting your expectations?

Expect - Have you witnessed the employee doing the task, or exhibiting the behavior you expect, so that you know they understand? Have you been consistent in your expectations so that you know that the employee could not have misunderstood?

Assuming you have met the above criteria, then the conversation with the offending employee can be pretty straightforward.

We never said it was going to be easy, but if you’ve done your job as the leader, the employee simply needs to understand his/her choices.

An effective leader understands the importance of acting quickly and fairly with problem employees.

To ensure fairness, leaders must remove their personal emotions from the professional issue at hand. Leaders must prepare themselves so that the entire discussion focused on two areas:

- Performance
- Behavior

Stay focused only on Performance and Behavior when working through employee issues. Trust this advice and I guarantee that your Human Resources Rep. and/or any future Legal Rep., will love you for it!

Yes, there is always a risk, and possibility of legal consequences ie. someone suing you for wrongful termination. Serious stuff, right?

Still, you can be confident! Terminating someone due to repeated, specific behavior and/or performance issues, can be reasonably understood by a 12-person jury. Whereas, firing someone because “you just didn’t like him/her” can raise serious doubt about the credibility of the manager.

So, one last time – always keep comments (verbal and written) focused solely on Performance and/or Behavior.

Let’s consider a specific example.

How a great leader can present a WINNING CHOICE to a bad apple:

- Communicate clearly your expectations in terms of Performance and Behavior.

- Communicate the rewards of meeting your expectations ie. job security, future opportunity, respect and credibility

- Communicate the consequences of not meeting expectations ie. looking for another role where he/she will find more fulfillment.

- Allow the employee the opportunity to choose his/her own path (one road leads to rewards, the other road leads to new adventures - probably working for someone else)

- Ensure the employee that you will support the employee in either CHOICE he or she makes - but ultimately, the choice and the responsibility belongs to the employee.

- Confirm that the employee understands your expectations and that you will do your part by supporting him and holding him accountable.

Once you have had this discussion and placed the employee on a “Final Notice”, you have truly empowered the employee to create his/her own destiny.

The actions of the employee, in terms of both Performance and Behavior, will soon signal to you his or her “choice”.

Make sure you “support” the employee in whichever path she chooses to take.

Reward her for her progress, or release her from a situation that neither party is happy with.

By following the above guidelines, your team will respect you for your fair and decisive leadership.

No, it’s never easy to let someone go, but it is the right thing to do if that’s the employees’ “choice”.

Richard Gorham is the founder and President of Leadership-Tools, Inc. His web site, leadership-tools.com leadership-tools.com is dedicated to providing free tools and resources for today’s aspiring leaders.

Offering high-quality tools in the areas of Business Planning, Leadership Development, Customer Service, Sales Management and Team Building.

Try this exercise. Take a sheet of paper and list down all the emotions you can think of…
Take a couple of minutes and if possible, keep writing for as long as you can… Come on, do it.
I’ll still be here when you get back.

Now, take your list and go back over what you wrote and give each of those emotions a listing out of 10
(one for weakest, ten for strongest) based on how strongly you have personally felt each of them.

Just a clue, the ones you wrote down first will probably rate higher. If it took you two minutes of
fairly dedicated thinking to come up with an emotion, you’ve probably never really felt that particular
emotion very strongly. And by the way fellas, there are more than two emotions….

Next, if necessary, go through your list and put them in order of strength with the strongest at the
top and the weakest (the ones) at the bottom.

Once you have done that, answer this question:

How far down the list did you have to go before you came to an emotion that usually has a positive spin on it?

Many of the people I try this exercise with find that it is not until the third or fourth one on
their list that they come to an emotion that usually has a positive slant. How about you???

No wonder researchers show that 95% of your self-talk is negative!

Once you become aware of that, you are a large part of the way to being able to change it.

But why would you want to change it?

After all, you’ve come this far in life with a whole lot of negative self talk.

But that’s just the point. If you got this far with all that negative feedback, just imagine how much more
you can achieve if that negativity stopped, or at least was reduced.

But it’s important for you to realise that in order to turn off the flow of negative thoughts
and turn on the flow of positive thoughts and self talk will take some time, some effort, some
commitment, some discipline.

And its not something you can do for just a few minutes a day. Its something you need to work on
all the time.

It’s a bit like dieting, or exercise. You can’t do two minutes of exercise every now and then and
hope to achieve any improvement in your fitness level.

Nor can you have a healthy breakfast then “pig out” on greasy foods for the rest of the day and expect to lose any weight.

There is any number of different exercises you can undertake to change your self talk from negative to positive.
We will look at one or two shortly. You may find others that suit you better. But they all have one thing in common.
Each of the exercises has as its basis the replacement of all the negative images, or bits of information you
have stored in your subconscious with positive ones.

With all of these exercises you will need to exercise some personal discipline.

The world in which we live seems fascinated by bad news. No doubt you have heard it said that
‘bad news sells’. Good news, apparently does not sell, at least not newspapers.

And bad news produces more bad news as each tries to top someone else’s disaster with their own
“you think that’s something, wait till you hear what happened to…”
(you can almost hear echoes of the Monty Python Yorkeshiremen’s skit…”Shoes, you war looky…. “)

It’s as if we need to find some justification, some excuse for feeling the way we do.

And why do we feel the way we do?

Because that little voice in our heads keeps up a constant stream, telling us how stupid,
how dumb, how clumsy, how hopeless we really are.

Absolutely everything you have ever experienced through your sense gates is sitting there in your
subconscious, just waiting for the time when it can be used in answer to one of the questions,
one of the requests for information your conscious mind gives to the subconscious.
It’s there, It cannot be deleted. But it can be diluted, even swamped.

What I mean by that is one way you can lessen the negative self talk is to fill your life with positive
material. No, I’m not suggesting you live in some unreal utopian existence that has no basis in reality.
Rather, I am suggesting you choose, quite deliberately the material you experience.

So, rather than watching the nightly news service,

read a biography of a famous person, particularly if
that person overcame some sort of adversity to make something of themselves.

Listen to or read some self development materials.

Listen to your favourite music.

There is any number of videos that put magnificent still life photos and nature videos to music. Buy and watch some. You will be surprised how healing it can be.

These are just a few ideas to get you thinking in the right direction. You can probably come up with a whole lot more
ideas that suit you, simply by asking your subconscious the question “What positive things can I do, can I
read, can I listen to that will be enjoyable enough that I will want to keep doing them?” And give your
subconscious some time to come up with answers to that question.

Will that change your life?

You’d better believe it.

Graham Hunt is the founder and Thinker-in-Residence of The Ultimate Success Center, an organisation established to resource an environment where people who so desire can discover and fulfill their potential. One way in which Graham is doing that is through is website at the-ultimate-success-site.com/ the-ultimate-success-site.com/ Drop by anytime.

In January of this year, A-list celebrity Hillary Swank announced: “My New Year’s resolution is to get rid of some stuff because I bring it in and I can’t get rid of it.” If you were like Hillary Swank and you also placed organization on your list of New Year’s resolutions, then you were not alone. “To get organized” was one of the top 10 New Year’s resolutions for 2007, according to about.com and myGoals.com.

While many individuals decided organization was a high-ranking item on their ‘To Do’ list for the beginning of 2007, it may fall to the bottom of the list by the end of the year. Research illustrates that the percentage of people who maintain New Year’s resolutions falls sharply as the weeks go by. After all, it is easy to set goals, but it does take a level of determination and dedication to see those goals to fruition.

If you decided in January that organization was a priority for this year and have since let your objective slip, then it is time to re-energize your resolution decision. You have already taken the first and arguably biggest step of all because you recognize that you have a need for organization. There are a few more steps to the process, and they are equally as easy as the first.

Start now, start somewhere! If you are still reading this article at this point, then you must have problems getting motivated to organize. Well, your time has finally come! Not sure where to start? Pick the spot that annoys you the most. Want to finally park a car in the garage? Start there. Tired of messy kitchen counters? Start there. If you still need some encouragement, picture how harmonious your life will be when your hard work is done.

Set general goals and specific sub-goals. Think of it as a puzzle - each smaller, specific sub-goal meshing together until a larger, general goal is completed. Finishing one small area will motivate you and propel you to the next! This eliminates the “I never can get organized!” feeling because you are constantly accomplishing your goals, one step at a time. I believe Confucius said it best - “When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don’t adjust the goals, adjust the action steps.”

Set a time limit. It is more likely that you will prioritize with a looming deadline. Set long-term closing dates for general goals and short-term closing dates for specific sub-goals. If it helps, have a friend or a spouse hold you to your sub-goals. Then, reward yourself with something really enticing after each is achieved.

Now that January is far behind us, I wonder how Hillary Swank is doing with her organizing goals…is she super-dedicated and doing it herself, is she paying someone else to do it, or is she perhaps letting her resolution slide? I will probably never get an answer to my question, but Ms. Swank’s resolution does spur me on a bit. If a busy, Oscar-winning actress can put some time aside to organize, then I can too!

© 2007 Clutterbugs, LLC - offering solutions for the organizationally challenged!

Carmen Coker is the owner of Clutterbugs
and author of Operation Organize. You can receive a FREE “Get
Organized” Tip Kit comprised of more than 50 ideas to increase your
organizing savvy, a FREE weekly Clutterbugs E-zine newsletter, and dozens of
FREE organizing suggestions and tools by simply visiting
organizeclutterbugs.com/ organizeclutterbugs.com organizeclutterbugs.com.

Self-hypnosis and stress management have a long history together. In fact, one of the earliest uses of self-hypnosis was to induce relaxation, which in turn leads to effective stress management. Self-hypnosis is essentially a technique that aims to induce an altered state of mind or consciousness where feelings of relaxation and well being are attained. This higher state of consciousness is attained using certain techniques, one of which is repetitive verbal suggestions and commands.

Although self-hypnosis is popular enough to be known around the world, it is still often misunderstood as a therapeutic tool. Myths and misconceptions still abound, often as a result of misleading advertisements or overexposure in film and other media, which is actually such a waste, considering that hypnosis has been an important tool in helping many people achieve a sense of well bring, withstand pain, overcome fear and manage stress.

How is self-hypnosis used with stress management?
Self-hypnosis can help in stress management by inducing a relaxed state of consciousness. When a person achieves this state, he is more capable of clearing his head and fighting tension. People find that they are more likely to find solutions to their problems if they are calm and collected.

Self-hypnosis can also help people convince themselves of undergoing certain changes, such as improvements in their lifestyle. For example, an individual may use self-hypnosis to convince himself to stop smoking or maintain an exercise program or some other activity that can produce positive changes in his life. When these changes are experienced, that person will have found a way to manage stress effectively.

What are the techniques used in self-hypnosis for stress management?
The state of relaxation that is often associated with self-hypnosis may be achieved through several means. These are:

Direct language – where specific spoken commands are used to induce relaxation. This is a common technique of self-hypnosis where a person speaks directly to himself and induces a relaxed state through spoken suggestions.

Guided imagery – the focus of this technique is a specific image or set of images, all of which are associated by the individual with relaxation.

Music – another popular technique used in self-hypnosis for stress management. The type of music used often depends on the individual, although choices are often limited to the kind that is associated with feelings of calmness. This technique is often used in conjunction with another technique, such as guided imagery or direct language.

Using a mantra – a mantra is a spoken word or phrase that is repeated over and over again. It has a special meaning to the individual and may be a favorite quote or a phrase picked up from some religious or spiritual texts. The mantra is used as an auditory stimulus, spoken repeatedly until a state of relaxation is achieved.

Ericksonian method – this technique was developed by Dr. Milton Erickson and involves the use of the hand. The individual extends a hand (left or right, whichever the individual prefers) and focuses his attention on it. The hand and arm are suspended while the individual relaxes his body. Once a trance-like state is achieved, the hand may be placed on the lap or at the side of the body.

Does self-hypnosis always work when used for stress management?
Self-hypnosis is widely used for stress management and there are many positive reports about it, considering that it’s one of the few stress management techniques that produce any negative side effects. However, self-hypnosis is not something that will work for everyone because each person has different responses to this technique. This is true with people who have deep seated prejudices about self-hypnosis and people who are unsure about themselves. People who find it difficult to focus may also find self-hypnosis a disappointment.

Does self-hypnosis require training?
Self-hypnosis, unlike other forms of stress management techniques, often requires more practice and intense focus. As such, it may require an individual to work with a trained professional at first, although self-help books and tapes may also be used. The latter is a preferable option for people who would rather work on their own.

How successful is self-hypnosis when used with stress management?
The desired result of self-hypnosis for stress management varies depending on the individual. When used regularly and correctly, an individual can train himself to improve his techniques and reap the positive results. Self-hypnosis can offer plenty of benefits when it comes to stress management. It’s only just a matter of using the right technique, spending time to learn and having the willingness to make it work.

For more complete information on self-hypnosis please go to:
aperfectharmony.com aperfectharmony.com
a-1hypnosis.com/index.htm a-1hypnosis.com/index.htm
drnathaliefiset.com drnathaliefiset.com

This past fall I watched my brother-in-law Fran compete in the Ford Ironman. It was held in Madison, Wisconsin on a rainy, blustery day. The triathlon involved a 2.4-mile swim in choppy Monona Lake, a 112-mile slick bike ride over Wisconsin hill and dale, and finished with a 26.2-mile grueling marathon run.

Fran finished the race faster than he thought he would in a time that qualified him to compete in all the Ironmans throughout the country. Not only is this amazing in itself, but it is doubly so considering Fran broke his hip only one short year ago. He was also in an accident as a young teen, so one leg is much shorter than the other; he wears a shoe lift to compensate.

Fran is an inspiring person, no doubt about it, but do you know who else inspires me? Everyday people who live life the best they can. Here are my top ten picks of world-class inspiring people who do not get the proper recognition they deserve:

1.) People who apologize for a wrong they’ve committed and mean it. (I’m also inspired by people who accept the apology and also mean it.)

2.) People who recognize there’s a problem but rather than complain and blame, offer solutions and are willing to carry them out. These people are great teachers.

3.) People who use every ounce of their God-given talents without bragging, and always strive to improve.

4.) I’m overwhelmingly inspired by people who aren’t the “best” at what they do, but always try their best no matter the circumstance. Failure is not in their vocabulary.

5.) People who count their blessings. They enjoy what they have whether it’s a little or lots, and know how to be satisfied. These people have peace of mind because they are not caught in the non-ending torture of always needing more. They enjoy all, but need nothing—there is a difference.

6.) I’m inspired by people who stop at a child’s lemonade stand to buy what amounts to warm sugar water. They are the encouragers of tomorrow’s entrepreneurs.

7.) People who take a leap of faith and do as their heart directs, very much inspire me. It’s not easy for people to do what feels right, especially if it’s something that goes against popular opinion, family members, friends, co-workers. This is undeniable courage.

8.) Good listeners who do not judge really inspire me. What an amazing gift of compassion. They are the world’s hope for peace and sanity.

9.) People who stop to help change a car tire, especially if it’s cold and raining. Total heroes!

10.) People with a great sense of humor. They put a smile on my face and a spring in my step. When I am with someone like that the weight of the world, at least for the moment, is off my shoulders.

There’s much inspiration to be found everywhere, but especially in each other; I could go on and on with examples. Our job is to notice and apply in our own lives the inspiration fostered by this great and growing legion of “Ironmen.”

Copyright 2007 – Mary M. Bauer. All Rights Reserved Worldwide.

Mary M. Bauer is the author of five books, including The Truth About You: Things You Don’t Know You Know (VanderWyk & Burnham, 2006). For tips on how to stay encouraged and focused on your dreams, visit marymbauer.com marymbauer.com

Developing and maintaining your self confidence is as important as any technical skill you might possess in your job or business. Often you might find your self confidence and belief will sway others to your side. So it is a powerful tool to have in an interview scenario. But what is ultimate or supreme confidence? And how can you measure it if possible? Well it is rather difficult to measure such, however i have come to the realisation that you can determine personal confidence through a person’s character.

You might have heard of this quote before, but i will repeat it here as it is pertinent to this point: “If you lose your wealth, you have lost nothing, if you lose your health, you have lost something, but if you lose your character, you have lost everything”. I believe the statement to be somewhat true, though health would be quite high if not the most important. But for the benefit of this discussion, your character is just as significant, i guess it kind of goes to the heart of the matter, or to the heart and soul of the person. And once you have lost that as a person, it is downhill from there with no coming back, unless you get rescued and get some major help.

Some of you might be saying the secret to having self confidence is acquiring lots of money, nice house, nice family and so on, and my answer would be it is not entirely the case, there are 1000s if not millions of people with all the money in the world and still not happy, so how do you explain that? One thing i do believe is that to be successful at anything in life you must have self confidence in your abilities as a person, it has to be unwavering almost indestructable.

The downfall for most people is the envy which they show towards their neighbour(s). When you are envious of someone else it means you are lacking in self confidence, you feel inadequate, low in self esteem and this can affect your morale. So if you were preparing for an interview and have negative thoughts towards another person because of how well they performed, no one gets hurt but you, this type of thinking is negative and self destructive. In my opinion it is at the root to most of mankind problems. Instead of us to learn and be inspired from the success of our friends some look for their downfall, how they can better them anyhow, anyway possible. Now don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong in wanting to be better or admiring another person’s success but it is the thinking process, the negative thought patterns of some people which is abhorent and only detrimental to themselves in the end. It shows up their true innerself, they lack self esteem and personal confidence.

Some of the people i admire today as having supreme confidence would be people like Sir Richard Branson, Justin Timberlake, P. Diddy, Sir Alan Sugar, John Harrison, Ted Nicholas, Bill Gates, Warren Buffet to name but a few. What these famous and successful people have in common besides all being multi millionaires and billionaires in their own right, is that they have a certain ‘care free’ attitude as they look to others for inspiration and support. Money has certainly helped them, but i can promise you envy was not a part of their policy, as it would have ate at their self confidence and belief and surely would have kept them at the basement of the success ladder. You know they say envy is the root to all evil. It is also the root to people’s downfall and lack of confidence.

I will finish with a little story that illustrates the feeling that envy is somewhat in grained most people. I had attended an interview a long time ago for a position as a recruitment consultant for an executive search firm and i got invited to the 2nd stage, i was asked to do a presentation to the group. I proceeded to give my presentation, at the end there were some questions asked. But i remember one of the employees asking me if i would be envious if one of my colleagues was doing better than me in terms of generating results and revenue, ok and reasonable question. But they were not quite prepared for my feedback, in that i said i would certainly not be envious of he or she, why should i be envious, the money? Well, ladies and gentleman, it is the wrong focus, mine would be on learning from the person, watching, observing and listening to what has got them to the top of their field. Envy is a sign of weakness and if you are this way inclined it is something that can be worked on and must be addressed. With regards the story of my 2nd interview and presentation, the company hired me in the end.

So the secrets to achieving supreme confidence is simply developing your inner self, your self thoughts, and banishing all forms of envy, envy is a cancer that eats away at the mind and spirit of a human being.

“There is only one problem with common sense; it’s not very common.”
- Bryce’s Law

We’ve got some very bright and ambitious young people joining the work force now but they are coming at a very different time in the business world. Thanks to technology, we now live and work in a much faster paced society than what I joined just three short decades ago. It is also a much more competitive environment due to changing economic conditions. True, the Greatest Generation has basically moved along, but the Baby Boomers are still firmly in place and are not inclined to retire any time soon. This means the class of 2007 will be competing not only with people in their 20’s, 30’s and 40’s, but also with people in their 50’s and 60’s who cannot afford to retire.

This got me thinking about how well we are preparing the next generation of workers. Are we really training them to succeed or are we setting them up to fail? Sure, they might be well educated in their professional area of expertise, but I am finding a remarkable number who lack basic street smarts. Somewhere between the safety of home and school, and the bitter realities of the real world, a void exists in preparing our youth for adulthood. In a way its like being a parachutist for the first time, except you are being pushed out the door with no instruction on what to do. This can be very traumatizing to young people who tend to be overwhelmed by the responsibilities of adult life.

In school, students were only concerned with attending class, absorbing the material, eating and their social life. But now in adulthood, they suddenly have to face such things as insurance, taxes, housing, transportation, banking, investments, retirement accounts, health care, nutrition, paying bills, corporate cultures, etiquette, dress, career development, business ethics, office politics, networking, employment, management, etc. Oh yea, and Work. They may have been adequately trained for their profession, but nobody is preparing them to make the transition into adulthood.

The parents haven’t prepared them. If anything, they have sheltered their youth from reality for far too long. For example, many kids today have not had to mow a lawn, clean a dish, push a broom, or hold a part-time job. Instead, they were free to concentrate on their homework and video games. In other words, parents have failed to instill the concept of simple responsibility and the value of a dollar. A lot of parents today are “hands-off” meaning they are content to let others raise their children for them, be it a relative, a nanny, a coach, or a teacher, thereby providing them with some free time to rest and relax.

The teachers haven’t prepared them either, but in their defense this shouldn’t be in their job description. Instead, they should be concerned with teaching academic subjects, such as math, literature, languages, science, etc. However, since a lot of parents have dropped the ball, teachers have been forced to become surrogate parents, something they are not necessarily trained in or suited for.

Ultimately, this means today’s corporate managers are inheriting a generation of naive young people with unbridled enthusiasm who are having difficulty adapting to the corporate world. Many of this generation seem to believe they are uniquely different, that the old established rules of today’s corporate culture no longer applies to them; that corporations must adapt to them, not the other way around. Such naivety can be dangerous and lead to their demise as reality sets in.

To overcome this problem, perhaps we can help our youth by devising a new type of curriculum that would teach such things as:

Personal Organization - e.g., managing finances, insurance, housing, transportation, etc.

Adapting to the Corporate Culture - how to understand the culture and adapt to it. This would include discussions on business ethics, and studying change.

Professional Development - teaching concepts of craftsmanship, continuous improvement, and basic business skills.

Social Skills - how to effectively communicate and socialize in an office environment.

Do’s and Don’ts in the Workplace - discussing the realities of employment, company policy manuals, and other legal issues.

Management 101 - teaching basic management concepts and rules to help “newbies” fit into the corporate culture.

Actually, none of this is new. We have all had to learn it through the School of Hard Knocks. However, if the next generation is to ever have a chance in today’s fast paced world, we have to jump-start this process for them. Otherwise they will have difficulty surviving. Basically, what is needed is just some simple parental advice.

If you would like to discuss this with me in more depth, please do not hesitate to send me an mailto:timb001@phmainstreet.com e-mail.

Keep the faith.

Tim Bryce is a writer and management consultant located in Palm Harbor, Florida.
You can find his work on the Internet at:
phmainstreet.com/timbryce.htm phmainstreet.com/timbryce.htm

He can be contacted at: mailto:timb001@phmainstreet.com timb001@phmainstreet.com

Copyright © 2007 Tim Bryce. All rights reserved.